Plane Sailing Junk
In the beginning, the garden was tended. The mown car park verge and ‘Garden’ signposts were proof on closed days that it did open to strangers. In this garden, the fir trees drew sighs as they combed the breeze, and the birds would release that breath with song.
Open in a month
Should be working
Phone the agency
Julia is frantic
To put me off
Eat some oranges
Feel like frosties
Wait for Sainsbury’s
My bum is peachy
My hair is shiny
My teeth are clean
I’m off to work
Face in ernest
Greet for coffee
Resume a frown
For board room slumber
In Chelsea flat
A supper party
With flat mate smelly
To watch the telly
The pot plant
Is really horrified
Give my girl
To an irrational age
The rational whore
She was brought up
To eat carrots
And parsleyed potatoes
Nations only exist in personality
But should everyone change passports?
How can the responsible adult be free, how can an irresponsible adult be truthful?
Have no responsibility.
Money is too obvious to a world which buys days, views, faces and cities. Government is money for instincts are bought by rich persuasion. The people don’t reflect on this world as a hellish waiting room where everybody waits for money in order to perpetuate more disposal. Love can’t be bought for long, but many people survive on its first impression. We mourn bad insurance.
How many people live is a question of masses: of ghosts that glutton or cartoons that talk.
The code of translation seeks music in print.
The player is a pop beat so nobody reads.
I have been home and remembered that I want to come and visit you. Please can you call me to tell me about Toronto. Here is my latest ditty. It is called ‘where there is a man there is a Fran’.
Man questions the law in argument
But the law is love
Man disobeys the law in ignorance
But the law is love
Man despises the law in selfishness
But the law is love
Man betrays the law in fear
But the law is love
Please assure your agent that I am a tourist and that this is written on commission.
There is the sunrise but forget the feel of this early chill for as I slip forward into archives long shelved . At the going down of the sun and in the morning I will again remember. Water glares brightly with life washing up logs.
Keep a look. Out. Send silver eyeball. And imagine through thin purple veins. Cold bleeds for feeling so shoots far from shore. Scavenging in maybe, or symbols to race . In search is no difference. By movement unfelt or to drum for abandon, a train not in forecast but tunnel for picture. Sing rhythm for walking, get seagull for albatross, and mariner tap loathing in fear for unending. Pebble burst mercurial, chew sand bone for friendship. In bridge of no concept drink sand pot for luck. Close shells small lap loud in rubbish for entrée.
There was a log with clothes on, a friend of Worzel Gummidge or a shop window person. Found the best thing on the beach and we could take it home and make it a statue, but it was in a terrible state and this could all be lies. But the hair was terribly scraggy, and it wasn’t straw, though it should have been and it didn’t stick up and it wasn’t funny, but I was laughing. Then they were all hysterical and sick and running for help, I’ll go. I’ll get the car, Oh, what a find and we can call the British museum. Explorers and everyone would know it was an emergency, because we had to bring the alien back to life. It’s an alien and it’s just a pretending look alike. Looks a bit sick and brown white puff. Can’t remember, but I’ve seen it since in films. They go all floaty, but Aunt Sally wears better lipstick and Pinoccio can talk even though he’s made of wood. The skirt is all flowery, so she must be alive. Just put it in the washing machine and it will get better. Dirty clothes can come to life.
Wish stop screaming, and no one can hear, or is everyone looking. Perhaps there is a bank and we can get help. People try to lift, but its all very heavy. No, but leave it alone. But there aren’t any people. There is only me. Zoo a signs but where are the elephants? What an odd sort of zoo. That’s what they are saying. How very strange. We’re going to get accused now, although I didn’t do it. It’s all muddy. Perhaps it was muddy (er). Who did it.
And I was not there, but this is a revelry of somebody else’s dream and I am fond of imagining because it’s all sensation and that means attention. Nobody is paying attention to the woman that is not alive, because they are all crying about her and going off and leaving her. We must go and tell the Queen.
I have an Order of Merit. Got it in ballet for grade 1. But if I wasnt there, she would remind us whenever she went near a bridge. It was her job to tell everyone how terrifying it was to commit suicide. She knew about committing suicide, but was not dead. I think that is really funny. She is just a pretender, but I sometimes wonder if it is better to go on pretending or just to go ahead and do it. She liked us to keep on wondering so that we wouldn’t be called stupid. I thought I might try because everybody found the whole subject so utterly fascinating and their faces would always go Ooh and shakey. They kept saying “tragic” and “poor” and “devastating”. They looked rich and boring felt rich and fascinating. For some reason she thought she understood everyone, although she was very haughty about it. I don’t know why I think I was there. Telling me to go away because she doesn’t understand, but I am a fast runner although I’m not sure what she is doing to Aunt Sally. I must not tell lies. Having sex is lying down. Stand up for Jesus.
There had been stories going round about the Tay bridge falling down. We were in the car. She was being insolent and answering back, and I wouldn’t speak, so we had to get out of the car and walk across the Tay bridge. That would make us understand what would happen if she would ‘leave us all alone in the world’. The road works man was really nice. Woe work man.
Perhaps she wasn’t there either. But it was important to be involved in tragedy. An aristocratic tragedy especially. An ass a catic dad jedi. Of course its Know Body’s fault. Where is Dr. Know. An ark is an aunt if you speak with posh. A work of ark. Well I think I know. My ark did it. I think she did it because I didn’t and she thinks she might. Will she do it or did she do it. The other side of the bridge is crossing the path from life into death. She nearly had a fit when we went to Murthly. We had to get out of the car and think about whether it was safe to cross. The water was very angry and swirly and this could even be some time later. A very angry river and we could not decide whether to cross the Tay. To Tay or not to Tay. Today. Tomorrow. Marrows in the garden. Buried. She likes drinking cups of tay, but it never kills her, so why can’t we cross the river? We’ve got to get to the party, but I promise you they are humans and not dogs.
The drama poses as masquerade on memory lane. When the dream of chance dances with purpose, the photograph is frozen. It is a false film because it is projected, but so was the experience. So where’s the problem in proving truth? It cannot be falsified, so it cannot be understood. It is an understanding and not an event. Blooming contradictions.
In the beginning, the garden was tended. The mown car park verge and Garden signposts were proof on closed days that it did open to strangers. In this garden, the fir trees drew sighs as they combed the breeze, and the birds would release that breath with song.
Hypothesis: Two people are at war when they are apart.
As I am sitting here, I shall tell you what I see.
There is another conspiracy. It is impossible to know. I am two people.
There are dreams set aside for both my people. Some dreams are known only to me, but are forgotten by her. Some dreams are lived by others, so they are stolen and distributed. They belong to some who don’t believe and other dreamers. Recollection is a revelation of real events. I don’t believe in witnesses if I wasn’t there. Who should I convince of good or evil?
There is no responsibility in reaping the reward or punishment of the other person.
I do not know myself until I can see my reflection.
Frances is dead and what remains is a twenty five year old invention.
9.9.99 is Revelation Jo, hello Charlie. Second name Violet an orphan of free status.
Except the conclusion is not a date. It is not the date which is discovered, but the date which is remembered. As far as the memory goes, it began before last week, a little bit last year, and a lot of it during sleep, so that days were spent recalling what had only happened the night before. So it is with many inversions of time that memory has finally arrived and this is the conclusion: Frances forgot that she was Charlie’s invention.
To be an utter moron and be liked for it is perfectly plausible. Moronity is the foundation for many plonkers, intellects and aristocrats. It
Charlie was never paid for being a dead person. It turns out that Frances had died for a jolly good reason. Most wicked mother this world has ever seen. Now that Charlie has remembered she is not Frances. Sod’s law would have it that she can’t remember how to be Charlie. She has remembered what Charlie did to a lesser extent, but she is so accustomed to being Frances say Frances with a FRAnces that she is stuck with Frances the dead person. She is also stuck with being her own worst enemy.
The wooden man had lips that I recognised. They were skeggy. His arms rustled when moved. It was charming to meet him, and the room was awesome when he entered. He stood by the Gainsborough dressed in a kilt and a lumberjack. He was the local God of envy because he was envied for his build and his money. He had thick eyebrows and an Oxford stare of intelligence. He was laughing at the sensation he could create, but found it difficult to laugh. The performance was too eerie to be truly hysterical. What an impressive frame he had. His gestures were slow, and his speech muted as he wallowed in affluence. Loopy had always had a crush on him. He called her his sister, and she thought he was outrageous. Always teasing the girls. As the blushing step daughter, I felt stupid. This guy was so brainy, and I hadn’t read the paper in weeks. I felt such an ignoramus. We were fascinated by his international aura, and his super star air of mystery. I mean, it was strange who little anybody ever saw the types like him. So international. So cosmopolitan. He must have so many contacts. How nice that he had accepted the invitation.
His wife was the most beautiful girl in Scotland, but nobody saw much of her either. All the brilliance was stashed away in their remote highland estate. Romance was Mister Romance, and Mister Romance had found his young bride, and they had beautiful children. Everybody loved his irony. He would talk of money monopoly and Glaswegian beggars in the same breath. Ho, ho. References to Eastern Europe and brave heart nationalism. He was modest and didn’t care too much for shooting. He knew about Arsenal and Manchester United because he was hip. I never understood that marriage, because it had American attitude, and Americans are ridiculous.
Indecision leads me to administration. Done a fair stint for the council, scaling formica fire escapes and measuring my days by the flavour of lunch time snack. Business is a sport with a mobile phone, and a mobile bore can spy on the move.
Work experience is a pine reception with Liz behind it. Charlotte stomps on the stairs and I’m in the way by the coffee machine. My annoyance makes me annoying. At first it’s quite funny. In clogs I thud on stair treads carrying the tray of coffee cups and water for the percolater. Of course I’m too grand and too brainy to think it a sensible job. Snigger, ho, ho. But there’s no one to laugh with. It is a joke uniquely funny to me. To anyone else my humour is condescending or degrading if it’s there at all. Everyone is too good to be where they are, but not everyone is noticed at it. Too proud to blend into the photocopier with Nescafe, I ooze sullen irritation in between cheerful exchange and non plussed consent. I think the word dogged is a good one.
Too many choc bars not to notice the 2 flights. Choc bars all from outer space. Office space. To let. The sanity is maddening. “Good morning Andre Deutsch. Um. Just see” What button? Extension 459. Let’s see. 414, 534, a flashing red button. Press trans. No. Hold. No. Unhold. It won’t un hold. How do I un hold it? Press 459. Oh dear It’s already engaged. Leave it on hold. Ring ring. “Hello um.” Damn, where’s the headed note paper? Where am I ? “Um, can I help you? Good afternoon. Good morning. I mean yes. Onjie Dosh” The other line is ringing again. The other woman is still on hold. “Who did you want to speak to ? Can’t hear. What department? Think” I put him through. Woman on hold so I press hold again and put the receiver down. The other phone is ringing, and it’s go t a worse switchboard. Not difficult, but this phone is on a filing cabinet and it feels high up and there’s no biro or message pad by it. “Hello” this is not difficult. Yes it is. There’s someone at the door buzz. Ring ring. Jackie walks past. Buzz them in “I’m sorry she’s in a meeting. Oh no. Maybe not”.
Thank god. I’ve got some photocopying. I feed. It spits. It complains and I shake it about. Won’t work. Add paper. Won’t work. Replace original. Original jammed. It’s ripped up inside, and there’s toner all over the place. Just add 2 bottles more. Dusty ink. Feeling artistic. Black coffee anyone? The papers are photocopying in reverse order, which complicates my sorting. Making 4 copies. Balance them around the post room. Wobbly box and Sellotape stand, and the copier lid. Copying fast. Got the sort mode. But which page? Nearest last. That pile too big. “Of course you can”. Grab and drop my bits. Make way. Chris is the quiet accounts man with his own pigeon hole. Conversation in the office is snap shotty. Best keep quiet because blurting is misleading. “Frances. Week. S’really inchesting. Fax. Yeah.” Nod.
Hate finding. Hate looking. Fat directories and messy files. I like sending back unsolicited manuscripts. So sorry. Haven’t read it. We don’t do fiction, is what the letter says, but it’s worded differently. I flick and people regurgitate crap. The worse it is the more readable it is. The stuff of structure and long words makes me sigh. Too many farms in Cornwall overlooking the bay. An odd book on digestion which makes mitochondrion behave with character. Gross cartoons with a slip saying “I think these speak for themselves. I have 500 more.” When I say gross, I just mean colour badly boring. The lesbian author on lesbians looked too lesbianic. What is it about lesbians? What a word. A Greek island and Latin lessons at school. Endless women. The witches, all cackling over plates of food. Girls everywhere all worried about lesbians. God. Collectively, the human race is quite vomit. Dry nails, scabby shins, BO and the wrong sized bra. That’s puberty. Everything’s hairy. All shouting if they’re popular, and line browed if not. Hundreds of clammy toes all festering in regulation ‘Ambers’ from Clarks. Sweaty palms opening pencil tins, and lots of bottoms on plastic chairs. That’s school. That’s girls. Anyway. Back at the office, and there are four men and the rest are women. Anna is a prefect, Liz is a dorm head. Charlotte was demoted from vice captain in hockey. Nicky looked after the homesick, Hannah had rose deliveries on Valentine’s day and Rebecca was responsible. Alasdair looks worried, but all boys look worried. Tim is sort of a man because he can do his job and be a nice guy at the same time.
Discipline high god areas one day game few of the player lord before slow all sorts time that well outfield quick here ball is up superb shot little too full straight down ground effort hit too hard using the face top the over good one for south Africa. Decimated by Anderson and Gough rudolph here and Botham to tell. Thanks Paul. Phenomenal task so far signs by Voucher in the years problems as well. Better round this time. Interesting mix left hand right hand well ensconsed middle batsman keeper. Tough situation drearer. Gough thought that was quite close. Slope taking ball towards the stumps. Little bit down the slope bowls bright edge chat about it loop hole. Conceding on comebacks by goughs, second choice, good savings working quietly. String ball like anderson can do. Makes a lot of sense. Fifty one to four. Driving seat. Spoils the over slightly third no ball of the morning a third of runs conceding. End of the bowl leads fifty two to nine. Mother very seriously ill, flints off them. Just over four four point three, excellent number eight a lot better n that down all the time. Plan for england, wicket or two. Theory judge getting better has done through over wicket line cross you test thte wicket. Left handers try and cramp space outside stump, player tuck on the inside predominantly three in covers off stump just that little bit of room ovre or round the wicket to be precise. Over not around it around nice option in a while. All change out there to cut three balls to go before restrictions are lifted. That is the precise line good length from Flintoff. Judge a gash the series match at edgbaston, catch all round good hands. God ball good lead, back of all that comparisons between self and kintoff you been here . exactly . Andrew flintoff seems to be getting there now, to say whatever, fifteen overs gone, drinks coming out, lovely hot day here in london.
More emails about numbers on england shirts and caps one from robbie williams 174 from nicky clark big fan aren’t you aged 10 sent us an email, voucher got on top of that. Ball housed here at lords, classed 20 20 natwest series sell out england has been playing good shape this season, weather now the game. Rudolph and voucher, all indications now first hours out the way, balls a bouncer, 75 to 4 excellence with the ball captain give it to the bowlers first up. Surprise in my voice, bowl first pitch look superb, supported by his bowlers, statistic show second place to do it. Oh, gone extra pounds for Flintoff. SA 5 down now. Right area left handed batsman, delivery from flintoff, deep trouble. Joins the party for england 75 for 5.
Just a fraction angle all sort round wickett strong bowler ecent pace know really defend it attack the ball just is enough. Marcus trescothick in charge of england at the moment trout moves on. There e is. Whats wrong with michael vcviaugh st waiting to come back to the field, just had a break. Vucher show. Top order borne away, good trout, voucher had quiet series. Captain. Over in one balls time. (over). Real wide ball from johnson. Boucher gone now five minutes ago, deep trouble at 75 look at vaughan and here he is now deeper vfor south Africa 75 for 6.
Donald and David gowry here long way to go absolutely right put together 24, got to carry on back to the bulk of 23 overs. England kept taking wickets, seen damage, later than you would normally, any longer, The bonus picks up this stage keeps things under control standard field, scouts all round. If you ever had hoped for clinical performance, day england would have hoped for spot on. MV won the toss, three over, done more than that Comes the hundred. Been a battle to get there. Still continues. Second 50 slower than first not surprising, just too far don lakeside. Giles throw one hand in the air, quite close, try his luck. Push it again, less and less comes down to lakeside. 10 wide so far in games, that’ll do wickett in first over, he can play a part. Also first wicket of the series. Work this on the lakeside, a little quicket than e thought a hundred and 2 for seven.
Andrew hall batted up in this series, up and down that order somthing like a yoyo. Number 9 something to come in revamp or no revamp hasn’t worked. Clap. Giles good start to him, pick all to him comfortably tken. Just a little, enough spin from ashley. Zoomer. As far turn that face just abit too erly, presented leading edge. Ediving way to his left, still single. england getting wickets thick and fast in tough, Solanki pulls himself about, terrific stop cal it a nightmare for s Afica. Those guys up there practice so well yesterday horribly wrong today out classed by england with ball in hand. That’s the sy so far, starting to make plan, fight back unlikely to make a he total. First half brigade. Carbotini thinking okay. Vaughan simplest of chances. Al one way traffic. And all that traffic been heading down fast lane straight to the pavillion. Gets a leading edge. SA nerly down almost out. 103 for 8.
Only one man to come after him ten matches so anderson in his 9h over taken his third wicket. Attacked and attacked has paid of batsman across no one facing yet. Trying to pull it round comfortable catch ther for mV. Actually v well timed, found the gap. Two rounds in the last ball three rounds in a wicket 105 for 8 3 for 48. Nonoe really got toing. Rudolph really go vital blow most important 19 17 equal day second best poor day all ound. England keep that . Giles afford to prefer, tart with out men one men of, that makes sense. Quicket, change of place, quicker ball. Spinners would slip and coming off the slip. Wish for he coach a better performance eng been fantastic bvowled fielding quite brilliant. Uideal situation for bowler this. Boling for no 10 pershq w at the other end, still runs on the board still be dangerous only if someone stays with him. Is tho be that man made fo ashley giles. One note of encouragement for SA. Inhtis natet eies 13 series just under 20 strength of the England team. Lookat htose balowled figures. Pouring carantine top of the list someone one else department. Special performance no question s pollock guantini right from the word go really discipolined all grey araeads., good carry just been right on the money from the first one. S. africa had everyone better one, coming out going England special performance, can’t take that awy to bowl first. MV well coatching staff very happy. Seem to quite make it there. Tesco thick to a catch lovely day. Carbon copy dismissal caught by the same man, feston, pitching right out there. Yorker. 107 for 8 james andersons ten overs maidens. 3 for 50 to get rid of graham smith. And then third victim third shot vaughan. Keeps up his strike vey consistent thorughout overs. Analysis righ and left handed outside wthe wicketer compare that grouping to darren gough thumping pitch, anderson varied thatn that three wide balls one that tookewicket two high deliveries, required assistance of batsman. Very relaxed as well he might. Ability to come back. Do what the catch wanthuge swing completely out of context saving ones, if ever there was he time. This was it
Wonderful skies above the channel. Breeze leking left to right. Chased up the green never an easy bit up the hill. Oh my goodness turning to left back hovering. Allowed a few seconds probably shortest stroke thoug he hadi there mark look good alex look as though it was going in. so tiger shares lead at one other par . kenny perry Davis love heroic mark rowe,woods and bjor roe disqualified, finishing off at the eighteenth played astonishing round eighteen th yesterday swapped cards failed to. Feels o bad for mark rowe, ten fifteen minutes uuour signature, sat there clear to go, we left the scores interviews. Situation rectified situation, rised scores. Left the hut. All clear whose mistake? Our mistake, very thorough, ten minutes we st in there. Own qualification, especially for mark. Just a shame sorry for you both. All protected by the rules of gol, but sometimes common sense cn rule over, but aat’s the way it is. Just come u and over, vest T shots seen at this par for 3. Has your dad let you into any of thes secrets? Back to that. Birdie on 12. No alex hasn’t’. second hsot, ooh horricd kick, off into the jungle. Here 15th, so many types of grasses, better players from the middle east. Cary all the bunkers. Tight deep rough left. Sort of go in there. In the lap of the gods. Just walked past it. Got an email about that. Wel should alwys shout poor. Turning right to left not straightening up. One ofer fo the championships third place successful rn kevin perry. Majestic views agiain, same to morrow. Great golf like this. Hasn’t chaged. Trouble here for tiger. Dry birdie legality of other people’s drivers. Cnt test it without open. Maybe do that one in the minute. Not talking to the referee. Very black book. So successful when used ihis three. That wt he hs left 175 left. This is line porly, dropped down ruffers 18 inches deep, get it out tall. Strong man if he can do that. Only 20 yard, easy run through othe side, just about onto the semi. Wedge in. thomas Bjorn, the tiger once again. Taken swing, but tiger in trouble, could well be in the lead. Grass here at 13. Super drive. Semi right down through the ball. Lovelyif anything could, it would have been done. Thomas has this putt. Sharing the lead, bu wood remians to be see nn of course. Missed a hode, bold t shirt chance. What a par my howard, very good. Korea really beginning to produce some really fine players. So crisp. A couple of golf into a few birdies,. Releasing with his right side. Absolute full treatment . use a little slope behind. About 8 behind. Will he be able to spin it? Certainly do. Wonderful control, great strike, backsopin on the ball. Kenny pery at the 14th. This is lear. Flat try keep it away from right hand side. Chris fooled us. Davis love at the 11th, wind helping. Flyby. Think he likes it. Won’t like it now. Bunker. Mr Ho. Christian names Hur Suk. I’ve only reading book, tricky Suk. Should be Sk whole family bit confused. Lvoely second shot. Don’t take too much. Expect across the green hasn’t been taking effect. That’s oly two off thelead in this cheampionship. Bernie Els. Beuatiful putt. Sounds gone a bit funny there. Sorry about that. Fifteen good shot boweled for the hole . Another couple of feet drifted off the aback edge. Toughtest. Green ihiting too . 175. Yards. Doesn’t do Bjorn on his own again. Oh drifted away pace not to hold the line. Three bois in six holes. Almost like yesterday started off well, n. Normally at the fron goes further in front. That ball just bouncing the wrong way. A little birdie at 22. Couple behond it. Pretty good put. A little bit clouded wind drop. A round of 69 a virdie birdie finish. Splendid recent form. Well played lovely round of gold. Managed to keep it going. Felt tired the first day, but yesterday and today felt fine. So easy to do, Fil in our own crds. Id idn’t notice. Sems incredible. It’s amazing. Just weren’t paying attention. Disappointed for mMark. Big day come tomorrow. Good luck. Thg youvemuch. SK ho up the Green, spectators threading their way, usually takes a few years to recover, but there is time as it moves about the country. Ther’s a lot of back spin. Afternoon alex. Daivs love. Very ood bumpy shot from Davis. Peter Ellis coming into the commentary box. 160 hole par 3.Didn’t get uite the view Back 24 11 off to the left. What’s tiger go . wel get bac kto ken shortly. 163 yards. That seems to be keeping the ball right. Try to pull it in. sustained. Bjorn birdie. Little bit frustrated but Thomas one under. Runner up I theischampionship. That’s a safe four. Leader by 1 shot. Alistair Forsythe playing alongside bjorn. 143. Very difficult alan. Another pace. Three over for the cday davis. Perry spin bak almonst 30 fee. He is on the runway . how about it. 3 wins plus a third. Ho’s par. How ell he’s getting going. One over for the championship. Looks very releaxed. Thhwak. Clap. Leap forward, scampering down this 13th fairway. Plenty water been consumed out there today. Imagine years a go when you started playing. No toilets for anyone, one or two smart players with a thermos, now a fruit market drink of evey colur, hot and cold drinks. Tiger now for a two. Speed just wanders away. Played fextraordinary golf, a couple of stumbles on the way home. Little bit subdued on this green at the moment. Tiger still litle bit of work to do. Are pople in ignorance of that fact? Coupld of holes left for iger. Stiff par 4s. stolls for the 17th Tee. Everywhere in the clubhouse. Shocked about Mark ro’s disualification. Plenty comment in papers. Tok 7 at the 14th. Down on the 17th tee. With 3 wood here from yeesterday. Think first drive. Plays away with the driver. Interesting used climber for this round. Swinign more within himself, bit more contro, not beating it. 17 back into the breeze to the right, into the semi. Sing into the 15, well done veich. Bird vijay. From 10 tot 3. Thomas here 190 not a perfect straight down the midle. Good shot there from Bjorn. Really lowe scores. Garcia third shot on 14. How far left he playe that shot. Very slopey green from left to right. Davis love here hes been struggleing today 12th. No three overy today still on the first page of our leader board. Ss this guy perry. Thawack.well he likes to race cars, used to adrenalin rush. Ho on 12. We were thanking you for your emails. Bombarded about Roe. Far to many start 5th world war. Birdie well done.. He’s gone one behind Thomas bjorn our leader. See the blimp up there a camera up there can be adjusted from the ground. Gives some wonderful pictures above. There it is a little majic camera, nobody up there. But no. tiger not puncutre it. Thumped into the ground, crashed into the grandstand behind the green. Gesiculating that it shot awaay from him. When all his strenght was perhaaps not needed. Good put there long time with all. Todays score 3. Likely to hear only 2. Championship pointere. This to go 2 in front. Straight actually expecting it otg go right to left. At the 15th perry over rigdge out of a little hollowe. Good effort. Stright racing peter, also bought a publi course with his brother. Mr Ho SK at the 13th. Thwack.drifring a little right. Don’t look too bad. Good shot. Really is a tight driving hole 14 270 at both sides of the hole. Good putt 2 over. 2 in a row for BJ. Grandstand amount. Certainly is balls back in play . ken at least opening the ngle to the left. Not a puhsover. Steve mamlick out for ABC far more discreet distance, like laurl and hardy. You don’t look like peter laurie.
Can’t really imagine these being read anywhere or anywhen by anybody least of all you. The granny version at the beginning was my debut funeral piece. When someone said I was Wordsworth, I went and wrote these other bits. In all this poet scenario, you are closer than my own memory. What I am trying to do is to reconstruct my memory which is now filled with film stars and espionage, prostitution and prodigy which is all very exciting. For example, when I see a film, I decide to recall my own role within the film which is typically the role of heroine or director with super sonic better than Elvis powers. As you can imagine, a film like Elizabeth is a good starting point because film is proof. The thing is that I’ve got 4 surnames, and there is always the outside chance that I am queen because of all our grand relations. Other films include Shakespeare (of course), Life is beautiful, The very thought of you..,The Truman show, Little Voice, Eyes Wide Shut (most recently). But also, I dream of TELLY appearances as far back as New Faces ’88 when I got stage fright so badly that I managed to astrally project myself back to the BW TV room at school (my Dr. Who talent). Blackadder and Absolutely Fabulous are in there. Also Amsterdam Europorn and Men Behaving Badly.
Having committed sex with a long list of candidates although I could be a virgin. You were absolutely livid and I didn’t believe it either. I thought you and I met and got lost eating snakes in the cinema, and got wet and deaf shooting clay pigeons. I thought I saw you in a pub with Jude wearing a skin mask. I thought you were at the Hammersmith cinema at the crew performance. You were at the pony club. You were at the airport. I have whacky dreams about being a ‘terribly opinionated actress’ The Judy Dench number. It is along the lines of a schizophrenic that I turn from a blobby secretary into a sex politician poet who goes around shouting at everybody and landing on film sets absolutely starkers and giving a bit of it to anyone. Kept thinking I was in a spell from Lord of the Rings. Even if you don’t know what to say, it would be a great help if you could put things into perspective because I am doing my nut in with fantasy. I keep thinking ‘they’ all know me as a famous lunatic. I am boring my friends. Either I forget about fiction or I get on with fact. I do know you, but secretarial frustration has stretched fantasy too far. My mum says I’m mad. She is too. It’s not fair on celebrities to be thought about like this. I don’t want to be celibate. I might be dangerous to meet. Should I stay away from media, or should I carry on writing? Maybe Catharine McCormack is just PR. I hate having to stare at your website. It is so saad. This isn’t a good letter. It’s not even a very bad one. While I’m at it, we wanted to ask Ewan to come to our millenium party because he is our local hero. What are you doing? What time is it?
I’d rather a suit than a rucksack
To be heeled in a foyer
For meeting peculiar
When foreign is
Income not spending
The most irritating thing about being a snob
Is being against snobbery in principle
A story is a sulk
About the passage of time
I am not
But a thought
In a room
On a road
In a bed
As a judge
That is real
My name is Viola
My name is I love you
Forever you named me
In love to remember
Whoever you are
And whoever you love
I love you forever
I am not sure what half of this means anyway.