June 06

By madamenreve

May 7, 2016

Category: Uncategorized

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Frances sat opposite someone posh on the bus. She stared out the window on the number ten, she’d just been to the pot office. Frances stared out thewindow on alternate slides. the bus vwas very slow. The post office was a failure again. the posth girl sat oppostie Frances with her Ugg boots. She tickeled frances legs and Frances liked the feeling, she didn’t mover. Frances thought the bus journey was unconfortable because of her legs, she hardly moved them for peopele to tget past. She saw the posh girl, younger than her and imagined all the army relatives. Going along Knightsburidge towares Havey Nicholls, Frances vaguelly listended to the little boy who etalked about crocoidiles and hcocolate custard. Frances didn’t get up for the little girl’s mum. the little girl sat next to Frances, next to the Cadbury’s bar tht was left on the seat. The little girl’s gmum got a seat when the posh girl got up early for the bus stop. She hasd to wait for quite some time before the bus stop reached the bell. Frances just sat and thought about her undcomvrorable eye alls. frances wasn’t salivating, but she was intruding into the space of posh that was posh for posh.

Frances reached oxford Circus and went to bury some memrory at the ocmputer shop. She found out they’d sold out which was invconvenitent. Frances made her way to Arrogant cat to see tif they still thad the top she wanted. She sawy it on her way beack from Victoria in the window of the Kings Road shop. Frances found the top she wanted and was dying for the loo. Frances had a prospective buyer round thie flat this morning, she was on her way out. the rgirl had a chain key ring that sound led like bells as it jangled. Frances she loved her bells, she thought ltater it sounded lesbian. Frances went to the post office by the back route. tshe’d been dreaming about the new approach since Saturday when she wlast went. Frances needs to collect her mail without any ctatches. Frances sawy the post boy go the back route past the rarchitectural firm last saturday. She didn’t folow him then but intended to copy. Frances got to the counter where there was a pregnant woman. Frances said hello when she got to the ocunter. Frances shouldn’t have said hello, something to do wih automatic verbals. Frances didn’t plan to say hello at the time, she vaguely conceded since the last visit to be more polite tha n wehen she was last said hello to. Frances said hello automatically, and this classes her as aschizofrenic. frances didn’t think appropriately about what she was doing, it just slipped out. Frances likes to watch her trash delteiting. She is in athe tower tavern, doing a reckie for chris evans. Frrances has just eaten abouwl of pasta and a pint of guinness. Frnances is very full up but she can’t leave itill her trah has emptied. She ws served her pasta at 1.45. At two a woman left talking about Ian McKellan. Frances has added sugar coffee that she doesn’t like. she shouldn’t have added the sugara. Frances became a member of the RNIB this morning, she rang up to say she was a supporter. Frances muses that sif she is poartically sighted she could cause a car crash. France s wonders aboutthe solid implications of owning up to fairy dances. Frances doesn’t think she leaves the car when she is driving. Frances is listening to Marvin Gaye on the ra music in the pub. Frances was listening to David Gray before when she ate her past. a. There is only one table left eating at the moment because it is ten to three. Frances has bought fags from thevending macihine. She hassmoked three already. Frances scaratches her hair. Frances puts the laptop on her kneed so she doesn’t have to raeach her arms up to the table. she feels a bit floppy. It took such a long time to sit on the nubmer ten. Frances conserves her energy and wonders if she should go aback to the hairdressers. They’re offerin fifteen pquid off in Great Portland street. Frances wonders about getting a viegetable rinse on her T. Frances bought a lovely top from Arrogant Cat, as she was describing. The top is squidgy grey and red, it has a zip at the back. It could almost be ad ardress but looks better with trousers. She could lentd it to her sister but only when she gets boobs. Frances doen’t really want to lend.it. The dress is werapped in red tissued paper. Frances saw a lot of peple in the street when she came out, the cahire had said the dress came in black and whitte. Dsomeone mentioned Disny when they passed her in the road, something about a car. Frances wrote to Disnye this morning to as k for a reference. France s just wants the dates.

The tower tavern has blinds on the woindow. Frances compares them to her blinds at home. They’re smaller and thinner but they’re still made of wood. Frances thinks about when she wil be morving. Frances wondrs how emuch memroy will be crecovered when the trash is deleted, there are 1800 to togo. She’s trashed all the pictures that are originals of the Jpegs. Frances watcches the last lunchers leave. One ofthem is dressed all in white with a grey fiur collar. The girls were talking about celebrieties. Franes hearas burble of mena t the bar. They’re business men with drinks. they could be regualrs. Frances watches the bar attendant clear off her condiments. The Sandals taxi goes past the window, it always goses past. Frances could be on holiday one day. Where di d you get htose eyes, how did you get that smile, it soutnds like Michael Boobleay. I want to stop and thank you baby, how sweet it is to be love d by you. Should Frances bet better at stubbing out scigarettes? they keep smouldering. Frances feels like a fat cat after her puchase at Arrogant Cat. The guys at the bar are talking about the US dollar. Frances sees the Comdedy store taxi go past in bright fuschia. Frances associates red lips and the rolling stones to the Comedy store olour. It looks like th e Sandals taxi. There’s a DHL van. If Frances hadn’t smoked paerhaps she’d see a flower fvan. Frances is going abackwards by the way she sits about in the pub. Frances could be earining more points at the hairdfressers. Is it worth her while to go and stakl the local area for pa pub siwth a large sports screen/ Frances wonders where Chris could have been . Frances has been to this pub with cChris before. Sheis sure. Frances thinks about the lady talking about Ian McKellan when she left, she thinks she could be in Wardrobe ror someinting. David Gray is back on. Tell the reaper man and the stars above that you’re the one i lvoer. There goes powwow. There’s a girl in a tartien glitter top. She has lovely curled hair. There are candles on the window legdges, they’re not very tasteful. they’re dark red. Maybe Frances should watch the traffic going apast the other window behind the girl with the tartan top. The cars and vans go paast. That was a lighting vean. Frances feels tired and wonders how long she’l l have to stay. There are 1,300 to go. Frances feels stupid about the briefcase she bought. She bought it from a website with a picture fo a forecourt of an holiday villa. Frances wonders where the briefcase got to and wonders whether she paid for it. She hasn’t closely inspected her statement. Frances bought a document carrier made from hemp, tis not quite as ogood. Frances has so many things to buy but she hasn’t sold the flat hyet. Someon’e’s food is ready, the bell goes like a doorbell. Sounds like Fleetwood mac. Frances wonders about the little boy she emotionally abused. She went round with him on her shoulders. Frances had a fit of sadness and she cried and cried and said she ‘d lost the little boy. Frances talked every time the little boy talked and so she couldn’t hear him. Besides, his legs were round her ears. Frances in the end said could she go tho the little boy’s wediding. he was only five then. Frances is smoking with a Greene King ashtray. Marvin Gaye again. Frances thinks hari dye is bad for pregnant women. She still smokees though. Frances thinks about the risks and the likelihood. Frances isn’t pregnant, she is only bloated. Frances doesn’t feel bloated but she sticks her tummy out. Frances is emotionally abusing the situation, isn’t she alwyays pregnant? Frances sees more tiny tots in the streeet than usual. Frances sees an Alivini van and then a rubbish clearance van with black and yellow writing. Ooh let’s get it on. They’re rubbing down the tables, saying ‘Lovely persoanlity’. there goes the Royal Mail. Human Traffficking is on the television, then there are some divers. They’ve got snorkels and flippers, and there are some boats and a yacht, then 4.75 from HSBC. Reading percentages backwards in the irror, ther’s 70% off. Only 956 to go. Frances feels exhausted at the prostpect of the trip home. Frances waonders where ther to take the bus or the train, probably the train. Dub dub doobie. mother mother what’s going on. Three black cabs, a car and another black cab. A man walks past with a toothpick in his mouth. It is sticking out of his mouth. ther’es a courier. ona amotorbike. Stub.

Frances wonders where her ticket is, it sint’s in her psst. Frances was expecting to get terrence Higgins inthe post for next Thursday. Frances wonders about the delay. Frances thinks how she is going to frame the question. Has the ticket been posted anor scan she collect it on the door? Frances picks some breakdcrubmss off her mouth. Francs thisnks about the lady on the bus with her daughter. There’s a Ford advert. Frances went and had supper some while ago at the Langham, that was the riddle of Anna Ford. Frances regrets she couldn’t keep up with the intelligence. In mayny ways frances sells herself short aby being brilliant and then being thick. Frances has disgiuises about what she realises.
Frances wasted a lot of time and there goes Mama Mia followed by Lynx. Addison Lee from the far window. Frances shoulnd’t have interrupted the bar bman for her coffee. he was looking relezaxed with the girl on the juke box. A man leaves the bar with a cigarette in his hadn. He comes back to pick up a box and the box says Impulse. It goes into a bin liner, the man says ‘Crazy game’. Four of them leave together. three thirty two. You’re nobody till somebody loves you, you’re nobody till somebody cares. Frances ‘ table hasn’t been cleared apart form her pasta pbowl. There are six placemants and two kinives and forks and her knife that she didn’t use. the cafetiere and the sugar oare on the tray. the menu is htere as well as the foile from her cigarettes. The strip of sxixteen that cover the pub varieties. the computer screen in the mirror says ACTION. Its a plasma screen but it isn’t as larg as what Frances was expecting. Frances has a sore bum from sitting. she leans forward and puts her fingers on her mouth. She shifts her seat to sit right back in the chair. she keeps meaning to go and hget her ring fitted for her pinky. Frances wears her sparlkly ring on ther thumb. Frnances puts it on her wedding finger. Its a bit knobbly. Frances clenches her buttocks forward in the chair again. There are only 188 to be trashed, so she’s got time for one more ciagarette. Aint’ no mountain high enough. Ain’t no mountain low enought. Frances shifts her feet back. there goes clockwork van. there’s a pick up truck in green by the Basis1 tavern, restaurant and tavern. A man is unloading cardboard boxes. Frances thinks about the stamps she’s used. She bought a nhundred of first and second class. This saves her going to the post office. There’s a girl with a large piece fo card. There’s a footballer dancing in the swindow under some yellow writing. There are St George’s bunting all round the room. Frances thinks about Ewan MacGregor again , it doedsn’t have an A. 6.5 GB available, the trash is delteted. Frances shas saved a hundred quid.

Frances immediately spent it on a haircut in a haridressers she swore she wouldn’t ogo to2 . Frances fell into the honey trap of a situation that made her user their luoo. Frances went to their loo at twenty past five or thereabouts. She had her hair in lhighlights. she didn’t want to compete with the water spray on her head. She let down the woman sittin g next to her, besides she’d achieved a lot that day. frances could have turned the situation her way but she is preoccupied with wetting wetting wetting wetting wet we t wet, timing. frances can spend a whole day just sitting until she thinsks oh well. Frances can spend the whole day thinking nothing much. Frances read about Cheney in the Vanity Fair. she’s tgot the magazine herself but she hasn’t read it. Frances mwas more stimulated by Grazia and pictures of CKate Msosss. Frances buleges her eyes out at Pete as well, she finds them fascinating. Frances tried to cncenetrate on Cheney and looked in the mirror where wshe looked duller. Frances has a slight resemblance to stultigied exchanges. She
June 2nd

One musnt’t worry abuot leaking in the hairdressers. The hairdressers may have taken the leak okay, just snipped off with a huge Chineses tool. The hairdressers may have holed the ocmputer secrets of the day. This drivel is valuable in some way. One mustn’t worry aboutt going into fifteen bpound bargains, reduced colourings. One mustn’s worry about doing things blithely and innocently, not seeing wha’t’s been done until it ihas been trhrown away. One has to thank the hairdressers for tehe colourings and skip off regardless of the robbery. The hairdressers have one’s hair in their hairbrush. The hairdressers have one’s cares in words for pilaotes. The hairdressers are good hairdressers, there’s nothing more oto what they do. The hairdressers say good day and thank you. They’ve old out on Kerastase ointment. Go back to the hairdressers to buy the heair nourishment? The hairdressers are the Chinese embankment, what the heck. The hairdressers are the contingent, but what ‘s that got to do with one’s day? The hairdressers are just trainees, they have the currency in magagzines. Frances rifles through Vanity Fair andt hinks she’s in thr right room. Frances reads an article on the far rigght, what then? Frances wonders about Hallibruurton and wonders how she could learn of them. Frances cefeesls no fdifferently about the hairdressers and how they have a polo stctick. Frances hangs her coat up in the hairdresser’s wardrobe and sits back on the electric chair. What is frances doing there? Frances thinks she’s been an idiot again but she isn’t an idiot auntil th enext day. Frances goes back hoeme on the underground nd the special agents shake their heads. Frances sees the man in chord and she steps in his way and thinks hurrah! frances has secret sympathies with the giant motives. Frances is just a small girl living in London. Frances thinks what she says has nothing to do with her involvement. Frances went to China and thnen she came back. Frances doesn’t want tot ake the flack. Frances thinks she’s an idiot. Frances is an idiot. Frances triumphs with being an idiot Frances flagelates but she does have some cheerers.

Why shouldn’t Frances have ggon e into that hairdressers/? For a start the hairdressers was almost empty. Frances must join queues. Frances just wanted wome comelour in her hair. Frances didn’t think to care. Frances is tired of what she has to do, Frances just wants to get things done. Frances just steers where there is available fun. Frances doesn’t want to see the world as a huge competition. Frances thinks whatever she says to anyone will be of some befnefit. Frances hinks she could be insteadd of it. Frances is only concerned iwht getting somewhere eventually. Where is that? Frances wanders into any hairdressers for a little bit fo something that.

Why is sfrances so stupid? Frances learns things and then oes back. Frances thinks she’s on some track. Francces gets traumatixsed and then returns ata later date. Frances cshould have thought of it. frances was traumatised by the hairdressers years ago but she managed to conquer hear fear. What triumph lies in going back to be near. Frances had a laptdog on her lap, it wa as a King Charles spaniel, so what of that. Frances thought the hairdressers were loyalists and royalists, Frances feels she wants a cat. Frances is now sitting in bed. She goes back to bed with her laptop. Frances doesn’t want to get up. The only socks she has are dirty. Frances does have clean ankle socks but theydon’t count. Frances neecds long socks up to kher knees. Frances is listenin to an engine run outside. Francces has a brochure for skin care on her bed. Frances hneeds to moistureise her mouth at the siddes. Frances wonders if she should go and switch on breakfast television. Its not breakfast television time, its this morning. frances starts the day quite late. She woke up at quarter past nine, not ten bpast eight. Frances likes the feel of her claean hair. Frances had it througholy washed yesterday. Frances scratches her ear for no apparent reason., Frances feels her nipple tingle very distantly. Frances is wearing her holy mumper. It is the green one. Frances has just drunk some Rich Italian, a brand of coffee. Frances didn’t finish the Lavazza this morning, she opened the new packet. Lavazza is n’t that tasty. Frances could look forward to ravioli. She has it in her fridge. She also has two packet of asparagus. She coul d eat the asparagus for dinner. Frances hasn’t done anumber two this morning. She has managed dto keep her shit itn. Frances doesn’t know hwho she workds for. Frances workds for nothing. frances blames it on her education. fances alway s does polar consumation. Frances starte d out alright yesterday mronging but she went rwrong at the hairdressers. Fracnes could have her diary downloaded from the internet. Frances can’t be responsible for her stupid rambling secrets. Frances can’t undo what she has done. Frances was completely unaware insofar as sohe didn’t aparticularly care. Frances thought she looked ilike Dick Cheneyy. Frances has a serious face that

Frances fiddles with a tassle she has picked off from her dress. The price tag came with a nylon bell pull. Frances watched this morning and they were doing pedicures. Francews wandoneders about pedicures and haircuts. She thinks the stick on nails are pretty grotesue. Frances thinks about her new life in Scotland and wonders a lot about the carpteting. The yellow carpet will be nice and bright. Frances thinks the place will look good all in white. Frances thinks about the television last night. She watched.

They’re tarmacing outiside, tFrances has the potatoes on. The man fills a brick with sealant, drawing treacle tennis lines. There are reactangles outside the doors of the houses outside, they have been mending the mains. Frances sees tht the other side of the street has been done, soon it will be her turn. Frances took the asparagus off and put them in the blue dish. She put a plate ontop so the asparagus can keep cooking. It shouldn’t be olong before the potatoes are doene. Frances is going to eat at one. By that time the poatatoes wil l be cooler than boiling. Frances hasn’t had all bran for breakfast. the postwoman came with Frances’ passport. It was lucky she looked out the window when she did. Frances heard a click at the doror nand saw the postmwoman’s reflection from the Puzzle. Frances can’t be sacked for what she did at the hairdresser’s. Frances is unemployed. Frances is a loose canon that puts her oar in to every day trivial. If Frances thinks she sis stupid for long enough, something might happen. If Frances starts being persistnent about not agoing according to plan she might just make one. Frances has absolutely no control on what she might do. Frances is bound to. Frances is safer when she is at home, not causing any trouble. Frances keeps wondering what pub to find Chris in. She might have to wait until Thursday to see if he’ll be at Terrence Higgins. Frances wnts to go to Camden to see if sehe can . Frances wonders about the similarities with her and Jane. Frances had her highlights done. Frances thinks she isn’t the same, Frances thinks she isn’t the same, Jane thinks she is.

Frances was rung this morning from the pure collection about her order. Fracnces sent in an order from an old brochure. Frances pretended she didn’t appreciate. The order from the winter sale has been accepted. Frances range the woman back with the rest of her credit card number. Frances left the last four digits aout because the bosxes were shaded. Frances has ordered the chocoltate jumper for aeighty pounds, not one hundred and eighty. The laddy said the jumper was in stock fso frances could have it. Frances didn’t pretend she didn’t know what theprice was. Frances didn’t want to ask for it. FIf frances hasd asked for qualification, she may set a bad precedent. francesjust hopes she got the cheaper price, but the lady doesn’t have to explain it.

Frances ate asparagus for lunch but she hadn’t rinsed it. Frances thought the potatoes were very good with parsley. She sat down at one coclock and tate seven of the crunchy gritty stalks. Frances left the last two out. She left several potatoes and will eat them for tea. 3 Frances had a Mars bar in her bag for pudding. She delved into the bag to pull out the reciepts from yesterday. Frances examined the time she went andbught the dress. the hairdressers are called Marios. Frances would have found this frightning some years ago, but Frances finds words don’t explain what she’s been though. Mario may represent a computer game or a greasy spoon but Frances has been to the moon. Frances had her hair dyed in sometwhere she shoudldn’t have been. this is to do with accepting. If the hairdressrers have Frances’ hair and her reciept, surely she is theirs for being upbeat? Frances wonders who is whose, she only shops there. What isthe principle of having cashmenere and not rinsing asparagus.

France wonders about having a warming party in her new housein sCotland. Frances thinks what can i get you and its lovely to see you. Frances wil have to make ew friends if she is going to be able. Frances doen’t really want to make hundreds of friends. Frances would be happy with a cat. Frances ends. Frances thinks she’ll ask the whole village. Frances thinks she’ll as k some of the village. Frances thinks the villgage wil ask Frances, but what about her past romances. Frances thinks of the peoplein the area and all the rude things she says about everybody being a cealeaaner. Frances

Frances rings back Amanda from the Frazgile X society and asks to be sent from some booklets. Frances has just rung the royal mail to ask if they can spellher name correctly, she’s miss drummond moray not Mrs moray. frances got a ltetter from Royal Mail dated 29th April and it came through ehr letterbox even though she’s arranged to colletct all ordinary mail with her post office box mail at the post office. Frances wants to read about Fragile X to see how it relates to carriers. frances thinks sh e may be acarrier in the sense that she has epileptic fits. Frances wtatched the news on Alison Davies, and she thinks she has met Alison’s sisters. Francews wonders about Lindsay who lives in Australia. Frances wonders a lot about people from the north and from Liverpool. She wonders why she has a history in Wigan. Frances bought more cigarettes this afternoon. Frances can’t sworry about the hairdressers forever and she can’t aplologise. Frances rang office angels and spoke to berverly who is about to look at her cv. Beverly is ggoingg to ring Frances bacck.

Frances is a bit bored. She got an letter from Nationwide this morning though her letterbox. frances emails Nationwide to ask them fro their account number and asort code so she can transfer funds from her internet bank account. Frances is a careless typist, look at all her mistakes! Frances once threw a fit in the pensions department, she doesn’t go into Nationwide officees any more. Fances wonders what she said. Frances listens to Steve Wright who seaid weare rocking. Frances wants to listen to ask elvis. Ask Elvis is a character who answers complicated questions. Frances has browsed Beer in the evening thoroughly. She has . Frances hears a Jeremy vine bite on old people and elder abuse. The message is about managing the elderly or being grateful to the generation that fought Hitler. Frances is soking a cigarette. Cigarettes turn from embers to greys. Frances wants to go on a pub crawl aroud Primrose hill. She quite wants to go. She has reservations. Frances has looked at all the names of the pubs around Great Portland Street. She still isn’t sure which one she should go to. Frances could soask someone at the bar. This is Tom Jones. Frances feels slightly amazed at what she did to Chris Evans.

Frances stood outside the BBC and then Chris came out. FChris stood by the car , he ewent round the back. He difved into the front seat before Frances could reach the passenger door. Frances went to the passenger and Chris had to wind the window down. Frances asked for his autograph but Frances didn’t have a piced of paper. Frances didn’t have a pen either. Chris had to produce both. He had a smart book bound in leather. Frances said could she ahave his autograph. Frances gets a tingly findex finger. Frances got Chris to write he r a message. He wrote To Frances, To Francis with lots of love and best wishes, chris Evans. Frances felt a bit dispappointed and then she crossed the street and looked back at the car, the car drove off. Before Frances crossed the street she jumped into the passenger seat. This was imaginary. Chris said no and then he said hyes. Frances got out of the car and looked ddown. She said heis card wouldn’t work. Frances croossed the street and made her way to the Goeorge pub. Frances drank a n orange and lemonade in the pub. She sat at a table with a shy person who haad a newspaper on the table and a script on his knee. Frances was tempted to say hello but she didn’t. She sat at the table when the blinds went down. The sport came on the and the music was turned down. Frances chain smoked for a few cigarettes and thought about Chris and her autograph. She kept looking at the bosom who was dressed in chocolate.

Frances has wayward behavious r about what she does. She wonders ohw she jumped in the car. Frances couldn’t do it again because there’s a secret passage to the car park from the main building. Frances could go back to the BBC and ask for Chris at the main door. Frances could postpone this and just go to the doctor. Frances doesn’t really want to go norht. Frances listens to an interview on the radio. The show starts in twenty five minutes. Frances thinks ther’ll be an anwserwer. Frances isn’t really a comedian. Picles the dog round4 the world cup in 1966. There’s an Ealing comedy vibe, the voice is profvided by Harry Enfield. Frances thinks she’ll go to Haverstock hill to watch the match tomorrow. Frances could make an expedition to camden on the stupid number twenty seven.

Frances bought a mars brar yesterday. Wht can this mean? Frances thinks its funny that the mars bar says Believe on the wrapper. Stub. Frances thinks she could be more honest to Amanda ahnd tell Amanda that she is chizofrenic. Frances wants to meet lindsay again. When did frances last meet her/? Frances wonders about the estate agent who cshowed Chris round the falat with the piano. That flat went astray, possibly because of the broadcast. It is possible to get gazzumped. Frances wonders when she is goingg to sell her prpoperty. Frances quite like d the girl who came round yesterday. Frances doesn’t think she’s interested. Frances felt her herart string go a bit a minute. Frances thinks what she types could be relelvant. Frances wants to meet up.Frances tends to bed hop at about five in the morning, that’s when she wakes up. Frances is having a relationship with Chris, she doens’t know where he lives. Even if she didn she’d just hang around at the door. Frances notices the sun isn’t streaming in her windows today. It was streaming in the day before yesterday. Five till seven is the time whenthe sun gets beneath the clouds. Frances thinks about hte conductor in the choir. Frances thinks she saw him on the television yesterday on channel five. he is singingg with a group of people from a housing estate. Frances has the same sort of relationship. frances always thinks she wants to know people that she doesn’t connect with. Frances wonders if her social worker stalked her whne she was singingg in the choir. He always asks about the choir. Frances is reluctant to have taken part . Wayne Roooeney’s foot has been injured. Alan Johnson must b e better than the current deputy prime minister.

Frances saw Elizabeth out side the Amnesty shop. Frances gave all her books away some time ago. Frances drove up King street in her car. She recycled the cardboard boxes. Frances took the boexes from a courier. They weren’t for her. Frances should be aware of what she signs for. Frances could recieve the goods that are for someone else, just by the persouasion of a stubborn man. Frances concedes the address is right and that the boxes are for someboydy afeter all. Frances is somebody specific but she could claim any random prize. Frances listens o the taradio show in secret, she doesn’t broadast it because she doesn’t have speaker.s.

Frances put her skirt ontoday ontop of her nightie. Frances went to the newspagents in her nightie stricltly speaking. Frances doens’t want oto ring up the radio for someo reason. Frances would do absolutely anything else than make a telephone call. Frances could ring up and request a song but she just won’t. Frances feels a tingle on her voice box,. she wonders about ehr voice and the isignificance. She feels a tingle on her temple and a sort of scratchy point on the top of eher head but not in the middle of it. frances is slightly to the left. frances hears plans over the radio. franceshears people going to Monday world, Monekey world. Frances wants to eat eher potatoes. she has to put ift off until half past five. Frances will eat the potatioes form lunch tim.e Frances could take the peice ceream out of the deep freeze so that it melts and she can have it with peaches. She’s got Cardte Do’or. Frances turns her ears up at the sound of the dance show being advertised on the television. It like the X factor, a program called Come, Strictly Come dancin.g Grances thinks about the lessons she wnent to to learn toango. Frances thinks she could resort to tgoing agiain on Sunday. She went four weeks ago. frances went to the lesson tand then she copped otut of the nine oclock session. frances went twith the beginners to the room behind the main session. The learners were all there for free. The man who talked them through the steps did the tango as he spoke. Frances imagined him going shoppin, g doing th e tango between the vegetable racks.

Frances muses on why she eats at five thirty. Its very northern, its the sort of thieng Chris would do when he was little, eating with his gran some shepherds pie. Frances is otherwidse an eight or nine o’clock eater. Farances is distinguished by later living arrangeements. frances watches the television all night . Frances has nothing else to do so she eats at five thirty. frances goes to the kitchen and gets out today’s lunch and some cereal. Frances is going to eat the two left asparagus that waseren’t washed as well as five new potatoes from marks and spencer. Frances leaks during the all bran, but she doesn’t stand up. She perseveres with a trickle and then it subsides. Frances is a bit damp. She went on to enjoy asparagus and potatoes. Frances is keen to start the ice cream but it will have hardly melted.

Frances ate the ice ceream with cream and sugar.5 It was very good. The radio is very upbeat and positive. There is a lot of enthusiasm. Frances isnt enthusiastic in anything sohe does. She just waits and waits. Frances wants to see Jools Holland tonight. Frances thinks ehtere’s a chance she could have connections of some sort. The ice cream vwas very good. Frances feels bloated. Frances hthinks about how she might awrite about wone. Frances is gettirng tired about writing about Frances.

One ould think one’selef into John culshaw. One would relate well to Culshaw in a one to one. Franc One would be able to express one’s self, maybe use seflf instead. Self would say self could pay. Self or thine. Thine to mine, mine honour. Mine owns sentiments, mine to mime. Mine or it. It thinks it should b e easy to do it. It would like to go through it. It would be best at it, start it with finish it. Having could be one solution, having to do the verb of do. Havingg propensity to have by halve. Have to go and have to sing in a band. Have to

Frances has watched half of Cornonation street, Gardener’s World, The X factor and she’s just gone oout to buy a Pot Noodle. Frances watched Nicky get booted out instead of the Chefs. Frances thinks Nicky is better at singing too, and she shouldn’t just stick to acting. Frances thinks Sharon is a better judge and that the Chefs are tedious arfter the novelty of singing out of tune. Frances watched the X Factor yesterday and the day before. She thought james hewitt was very brave with his brazen barter. Frances thinks James Hewitt is better than the chefs even though he is disastrous. Frances feels the statements in songs are about social prongs. Frances thinks the bravest people whould win and that not all crying is the sme. Frances is now ifn Front of Jonathan Ross with his purple bubbles at the beginning. Frances likes four poufs and a piano. Jonathan comes on to some break sdanceing. He says he’s hurt his back bwhich is why he has done some robot dancing. Frances called it break dancing. It didn’t involve going on the floor but it was the same sort of movement as the footballer that was called crouch in the match against Hungary. That was on Wednesday. Frances hasn’t heard of Gaston but she vaguely realises Chanetelle. The next dguest is horrible chewing gum chomping Jon Bon Jovi. Frances thinks he looks hideous with his blow away hair. The next guest is even more hideous, its Noel Edmunds. The green room is seriously straining. Jonathan’s telephone rings. It has a large handset. Jonathan then introduces Keane who are much better than everyone else in the room. Frances has to keep watching to see wht the horrible guests have to say fror them selves. Frances has her slaggish pot noodle. There’s a James Blunt background to the celebrity Big Brother contests called Gaston and chantelle. They must have had an affair. The celebrity couple are appealing for their honest affair. They fell in love on big borther. Frances slurps her pot noodle and turns up the volume. He’s called Preston not Gaston. Chantelle looks worse by the colour of her hair but when she strts talking she doens’t seem platinum and stupid. She is just a London girl. /tJonathan talks about the chemistry. Frances didn’t put the soy sauche into her pot noodle. Preston has a really nuice jumper. They look likereally good friends, and Michelle is unimpressed by celebrities on the television. They’re just ordinary@! Frances isn’t concentrating enought to stop teating her pot noodle. they’re engaged. They’re trying to get a venue lined up for their wedding. Frances sitrs int the gunge iat the bottom of the cup with her fork. they’re having a nineteen thirties wedding, Great Gatsby. They like style infusion. They are being mimicked by Ross who says Preston in the way that Michelele might. what are the antlers for? He calls Preston young man. Preston likes wearing antlers, just like Stringellows. Cheantelle is twenty three. Why get married t, no why write a biography so soon? Preston believes they’re living a twenty first centruy fairy tale. Had Chantelle imagined what she wanted. cheantelle felt like she had ocme home when she got out of the car to get to big Brother. They like people being realiy nice to him. Preston, preston boys will be boys yeah, he says what people say to him. Frances belches from her pot noodle. It was good. Chow mein. There was a kid sorting the cards in Sainsbury’s, he wa s putting the cards aback and sorting the wrpaping paper. Ordinary boysPreston appears to be a pop star. Working form nine till five. I know the song, he looks like someone from the Streets Ross says he can’t sing. Cheantelle says she can’t sing. They showed a clip of the osng. They show a clip of I want it right now. Barrymore was in the same house as them. Frances didn’t watch that run.Preston descirbes it as a tragedy experience. Noel looks scared inthe green room. Who are they going to ask to the wedding? Theyre tlking about blobby blobby blobby. Ross hopes it pans out for them, charming and lovely wishitng them success.

JBJ’s living on a prayer is clipped and he comes out. The song isn’t bad. FJBJ is in a leather jacket that makes his white shoirt and jans look typical. Frances doesn’t like his clothes, but she thinks its an aerican thing. JBJ says he sold his soul years ago. He nods defensively and amicabley, tere’s no reason to feel threatened by him. Ross saiys he is a baby seal. What would he do if he lost his hair, comb, shave or gwig? probably Bruce Springsteen he says. there’s a bald picutre of Bruce Springsteen. Rosss says he looks like Lex Luther. Would it affect the appeal of the band? What’s all this about hair/? His fringe is forwards. Frances is smoking. Get the phone call and guess what no seat,s they’re talkingabout Wembley. They have a photo of a builder smoking a cigarette in a truck. They’re trying to blame the building or each other. Has he smoked majrajuana for medicinal purposes? Ross says he’s had a pretty clean existence. how did he doe it? Clich of bieng a rock star, fashionable not bto be in rehab. He drunk since 4am last night but its good wine. He’s been in a relationship for a long duration, during the band. What about talent on tap? All the opportunities he’s turned down. He checks out mums at school awhen they put their makeup on. He’s joking. bJBJ is laughing. Seen as a sexy dad? stand in front of the mirror must think he’s a dude. Picture of him waist gaping in an open hshirt. Talented actor? Fan of the sopranos? News to Frances. HE loves those charachters. Was in a film about American weorld war. Why wasn’t their an english butler or something. Pic of him in a sailro uniform witha cap. Clip of him in Sex iand the city. They play Twister. Green yellow red and blue doets. Wouldn’t know that was JBBJ the rocker says Ross. the girl and him were kissing and frances tstopped typing. He stands up from the sofa and demonstrates something. ross says how about Kerplunk? he has a blue collar no nonsense background. Forraging for coconuts in trees, advise against it. Who says you dcan’t go home intersperesed with buidlding clips. is it ihis ideo? Apparently so. Pleasrue to meet him says Ross.

Next god of TV used to be a God of Rock. clip fof him in a rubgby shirt with medals and trophies. Its noel edmunds. Leave me hangin on the telephone. by Blondie by the four poufs. He wasnts to savour the moment. Six years since the BBC and thirty years ago since Swapshop desk in the same studio. rudest word in the room was bum . times have changes lovedly goto be here. In this very studio. Cheggers can be boozers but never mind that. Ross never had a secxually transmitted disease. slept willth helga who said he had ears like dried apricots. Noel says no cumquats? likes the word like moist cumquats. three decades, fourth decadde from the Whiz kids,never takes sick days. In one week lost seventeen shows. Need to feel a hundres percent, respond to the people there and change their lives. Lesson for all of us for people to have success. Musn’t forget athougsand pounds acan change people’s lives. Every playeris the star of the show so must give them the best opportunity in the world. Random pure luck honest and hopen. Like playing poker. Genuiene financier, does not want to pay anyinging more for that box. Deal or no deal. Phone rings. Don’t want to speak to mr Blobby? BaWho is the banker? Noel doesn’t disclose this information. Is there anyone at the end of the hone? Ross produces a dbafta adn almost drops it. He ongratulates Edmumds on his talent and how. Myybe next year. Frances burps. Need to prioriteise life, expect to be happy. Wasn’t aa man living in a darkened room polishing his awarsds. Very phppy with the gile and his life in Devon. Turneda show down and then some influential people pressed him o do the show, believes its a great foramat. One or two countires are changing their version to be more like the British version. Fifve hours a day of shooting a day. The phone rings. Want to see csome clips of jim in top of the pps. covered in tinsel. Presents Gary glitter. Dave lee travis a big hairy confrnflatke. sent a pirate tape to Kenny Eveete. Goot a job before going to univeristy. ed Stewart too . Everitt was an genius. No apprenticeship these days, ngreat hame. Talent needs time to settle. No disrespect, Chantelle. Noel doen’t seem to bad after all. Ross ‘ phone rings. Says heis cab is here.

Is it any wonder by Keane plays the show out.frances thinks of chris and gets a bellyfull. She will turn over to Jools in a moment. Jools catches buses and cars gto get to the beginning of his show. Coming up tongith Morrissey, india arie, Dirty pretty things, hot Chip, ojos de Briyo. Where’s Davie gilmour again? They said he’d bae back last week. Start with the amazing Morrissey. he’s in black tie .

Frances rings 1571, its Lynne Zwink 01245231941Dirt y Pretty thigs are playing. bang bang yuor’re dead. Weldome hot chicks. Hot Chip. Frances folds her arms and bsorbs. Frances likes the smell of wee wee on her deress. She needs t o washi it. david crosyby and graham nash. BVolume up. singing guinevere. Immigration man song is good.

Saturday 3rd

Steele’s pub

Frances sneers all the way to chalk farm, she can’t get over her triumph about the fat man and her fat arrogant dress. Frances makes her way to a pub on the hill. She isn’t in a sundress. In fact she is in a woolen black skirt, trainers and her dark blue ribbed coat. Frances hasnt rdressed for summer or aoccasion. Frances proceeds up Haverstock Hill behind towo aged gents who go her way. Frances is constantly angry and she sneers in hitler ways, like she only got this far because she is so touggh, like she got her because she could cope with rough and despite all her setbacks, she’s composed of dynamite and other combusitible substances. rances looks out teh window of the number twenty seven and there are all the young, look at them go Frances thinks, and she tries to pic ot a few wrinkles. Two of them nosd at each other, but Frances is always treading on eggs hells. Frances intends to thwards the pub in a kind of angry summary, very minimal like she does int he countyr. In the coutnry iFrance s is allowed tofeel wheatever she wants. Francces tests this with increasing statements. Minimally challenging arguments enroll Frances, like she knows not to get off at the last stop. Frances sat next to an inbisible book reader and Frances said scuse me when she should have waited to see if he’d get up. Frances immediately latched on to the fact that she could have madea an understanding happen and she stripped the man’s legs on the way down the stairs. Having been invisible, Frances targeted his shoes with her eyes and accelaerated acalm from possible ties. Frances is alwyas stripping people from their quiet hiding places.

Frances wants to make the best of her life, and she knows she can’t persuade the Chavs. Francce s is as powerful as the media with what she thinks, but there isn’t a niche for her. Frances has to find a lver that can advise her on what to do. Frances on her own is a shrew. Frnaces sits in the sun and looks at the pansies, she has been sittng at home dreaming of Gordon Ramsays. Frances is in a real life beer garden listening to chitter chatter. Frances has been on her own for a very long time and one of her firends are good enough. Frances is emtoionally linked to programs and lives of the saints. Frances reads about good drinking holes and now she’s in one. Frances sits with her back to the conversation, and some of them are australian.

Frances imagines days in Notting hill and Primrose hill, but her past lis linked with words like sex and chills. Frances concentrates on how she can not be angry and how she can go about without coausing offence. Frances causes offence with her presence, and she snubbe the good will of the two men goingg up the hill. What wouldthey know? Frances is brimming with human knowledge and dreams of days she went to college. Frances focuses on getting piced on by the fat cats and how she would be there if she hadn’t done that. Francces is goingg to write to Monty Don to see fi she can help him with the grardening. Frances is sociaable in her head but whern there are people she can’t gget bpast the bar tenders and not having anyone to meet. The bar tender looked like her cousin momentarily, this is a treata fo r frances to make her feel at thom. e Of course the bar tender said sorry and the change was prbably up side down. Frances makes dow tiwith setting up her ipod in an outdoors situation. Frances first of all sat by the gents until she saw one come out. Frances gravitates to latrines, like the sunny side of the bus. Why doesn’t frances want shelter? Francces finishes her apple and mango. She’s off to get some cigarettes.

When she left the bar she walked bpast a growler, then she passed some laughing people at the talbe. she let some peple come into the pub without crashing into them.

Frances was behind a pregnant lady in the newsagents, she looked hat her ear and imagined being friends. Frances turned right out the newsagents and into steels’s road past the lady who does the lectures about rterrorists, frineds with famous ssteven. Frances wonders what wishes she made when she was liast there. Frances makes irritatingly humble wishes because she’s below the simplest expecttations. Frances is in the Washington. Frances takes two seats to decide where to sit, in the sunnies t window. Frances could boild but she may like to bask. Frances appreciates the goodness of the Guinness, its high quality stuff. Frances is in a pub without any sport. Francces iss sitting next to a man’s table with one man n it. He is reading someinng and scatratchees behind above his ea.r and sniffs. Francs loks at the geezer at thebar with string on his sunglases. She can’t see hi s face. Another geezer walks past with a pale green jacket wand matching shoes. Frances thinks about Tanya because of Stee’l’s road. You ardeffinitely are going home aren’t you dsays the man wandering to the table with the women. they had a dog astraining ontheleash a minute ago. Would anyone else like adrink, he omes back. Frances likes sitting in the sun, even though its behind a window behind glass. Frances thinksshe’ll eat her one pound . the green jacketed man asks if i’m using the hot spot, and frances is surporised to be talking. Frances says she tends to dsting it in and edoesn’t respond to external forces. Frances actually says this. Frances doesn’t know how to link herself up to the internet in actual fact. the man is disappointed with fraces’ response, she ha s come across as insular.

Frances pretends sshe doens’t mind. frances almost made friends with the bar man when she said she’ didn’t mind that he’d poured Carling into her guinness when it was settling. Frances got a new pint and he said he’d bring it over because things were quiet. Frances meanwhile watcched the man tell off another man who was smoking in the mon smokingg area. Frances is a witness. Frances made sure she didn’t sit i the wrong area when she chose to sit down. Frances lingered in the daarkened area looking for somewhere to sit down, but shen she thought she’s d found somewhere she looked up ans d saw the disabled toilet. Francces quiklyy went back to the sunny seat by the man on his own who is probably pretty sociable. Frances at first didn’t want to encroach his space but she didn’t want to sit tin the dark. Frances isn’t stalking bery effieciently. Frances should have gone to the market on her way here. Frances thinks about ggoing back but it would be quite a long walk. Frances noticed the terrace whetre the roundhouse has a sunroof. It looked like quite a good place to hang out. Frances saw someone that loked like Rachel on her waytothe steel’s pub. She thought about her godmother. Francces couldd send her godmother another easter card. She sent onte to finsotck road. frances sees piece of dandelion go past and a man over there sractches his shoulder and rests his fisht on his cheek. Frances sees a man come in with a guitar he’s only a boy. He says ehello to the bart ender who is the customer side of the bar. They do a lanky embrace, He’s doing good. the string glasses man looks on as well. his shirt has yellow patches in patterns. Frances wsees a girl go past with a red dress. A baby starts to cry. the sound is from outside. the jamaican music has faded for a new song. d Frances presses the D when she rests her hand on the keyboard. She ididn’t acutaly want to pressit, it djust pressed. the time is ten to rour. France s was thirtsty but she doens’t know if she can stay till five to five A woman tlaks about an anniversary dinner. She talks about someone being grumpy and rude. A man from outside comes in to ask for a chari for outside. He is pointed to the chairs near frances, out by the door on the left. He says thank you. they’re talking about someone or other wWorthing who is eighty. She He says just imagine getting an ocscar fror writing about bollocks. the lady from the dinner says something back that Frances can’t hear. Frances digs into her crisps . Frances eats a black bit in the curumbs. she’s talking about Mafia. Harrison somebody or other, the Barclays, they wn’t say tantying. the music has been turned down bu frances isn’t really ilistening. the blue jacket is next to the man with hellow patches, he seems to be interesting. A coup[le oof geezers meet up at the br and the latest arriveal goes to fetch stools. hewre you rea John. One of the men is completely pregnant. the shape of his stomacch is completely rdavid anttenborough and docompletely round. Frances sees th lates arrivals join the woman who laughs and seems to know wht she says. He was surrounded by a csycophant. Theyre tlkinga bout Anthony burges. The man on his own coges up and contributes to the conversation. Glasses says he can come back next week . the corner of thy pbub is generally ivnovleved, it strectches to the general music of entertinment. I’m afraid that mine is in ddecline says the dark blue one. We had a dinner with him.Who’s bertram Mills? New arrival says he was sir.

The mirrors have engraved gclassicals nad something like the back end of a heron. It all goes to the customs people she says. the ceiling is red. The man in blue blazer has got a denim shirt under his jacket. he shoulders the yellow patches nadn goes off to the loo. Yellow patches says it will cost you ar drink, he sticks hes tongue out and asks for three singes. cheaper than beer! £2.50 for rum. man on his own has given up sniffing at the uardian. He sits to the side of his chari with his arm rested on the back and he pinches his nose and scratches his hair and stokes it. he examines his arm and then looks away, drawingi his arm in . Woman wsays it was the live music. they were complaining the other night. Franes changes the cross of her legs. she doens’t need th e loo yet, even thought she ‘s had a J20 and three quarter s of behe beer. Another man comes to join the line of five at the bar. He is fifty with ecdentric hair that looks electrified. there’s a man waiting to be served with his hand on his hip in a Van Dyke pose. the new arrival feetches a stool from the tall bench by the ladies with their Tesco’s shopping on the floor Woman says Jhaxzaazz evening. The bar is too long for the new one tto be involved, and everyone listens to the woman, talking about a copy, Ersatz, a copy, its a copy not the real thing. A small poodle like white dog with a breastplate sniffs the floor by the foot rest and it hasan unclipped tail. It is a very small poodle and it shakes. It goes bacck under thetable out of sight. Frances considers her move, she’s finished herpint. She sees the smoke rise aboveher in the far mirror. the mirror is quite far away, there are green bushes in it. Frances has another cigarette. A red neon sidgn says The Wash Room. they’re talking about the Wet end, near the railway. Where I first haeard Stevie Wonder when he first came to London in 1950… says the woman. the man on his own leaves. He lasted three minuts. Fiftieth anniversary. there’s a table of three at a round table? What’s the exotic drink/ Rum. that was a question mark. the table of three are two guys ad a girl with whit wine. They get up to bmove and leave the paper on the talbe. they’re too hot in the sun. they go to the table near the Tesco’s bag and the white poodle. They’ weren’t about to be trapped in being written about. A small fly goes past. Frances didn’t think about swatting it. It was too fast anyway.

Frances wonders abround the area for a while and she passes the Star, a pub with sunburned people. frances wonders isf she should have stopped at the Star because there was someone in a sunhat that looked like Christ. Frances was stalkng in the area. Frances has taken position on Prismorse Hills. She’s just weed on the trass at three minutes to four. This isn’t very nice. POeople next door ge up to move away. Frances is by the path, it can’t be too bad. Frances dosn’t agree with people peieing in the park but Frances is must making her mark. The sun is lovely and hot.

Frances drifts ooff and its quarter to six. Frances has a cigarette and sits up. she’s been examining the dark dots in her eyes, she has a film in vision. There’s a hair on her left eyeyball and small dots against the blue sdky. Frances wodnders when she will go blond and what sort of dog she’d get. A man asks Frances if she’s seen his daughter. Frances sits up and loks around but she doesn’t stand. The police shoukd be called says one but five minutes later a man in a stripy tiop says she’s been found. Frances wasn’t overly alarmed. Frances think s about the man on the bus and she scratches behind her ear, wht a fuss. Frances doesn’t think what a fuss, it just rhymes. Frances is in a field of frisbee and football players. there’s a man doing break dancing. SHe shakes his hands. There have been dudes doing skateboarding down the hill. The trees have pink blossom on them. Even though it is six dfifteen, the day is warm and sunny. Frances doens’t ee l too uch like a leper even though wshe has weed on the grass. People have gone up and down the hill and Frances has forgotten the snippets of conversation like Are there any fit men. Frances watched a group of kids round the hill and pointed out the leader to the side. He was the fastest and was followed by some blond girls who were about four yto six years old. there’s a girl on a bik, then another half the size. The balls bounce up and throwing is generally going around. The queu for the bat museum has got smaller since Frances last looked. there was a congregation by the green gates at the botton of the hill, like the sesething masses. Frances is in front of a irl on her own like Frances. She is sitting up too. There were four men that asked her what she was reading, hello beautfiul. there’s a girl in a pink top with headphones onon her own. she is followed by another girl on her won in a suit who shniffs. Frances wataches a bright pair of red shoes go past on the tarmac road. Frances is by a grass path that leads to the top of the hill.

Frances intends to ring the radio show up next week and to ask for a request of some sort. Frances can’thang around dilly dally like this and she’s better off in Scotland. Frances sis enjoying herself in the warm evening. whatever she came here to do. Frances has had two cigarettes and wants to eat in the engineer at seven. They don’t serve food till seven o’clock and frances has forty minutes to wait. this coul d mean she is hangin aorund. There’s a dog on a lead. ther’s a pushc a pram actually with the hood up. The ice cream van sounds to the bottom of the park but it isn’t musical statues here. there are lamps along the tarmac path, they’re old fashioned and painted in black. Someone is describing what she is wering to someone on the end of her telephone. A guy holds a n orange bag over his shoulder an points towave at the distance. A couple bcome by with one ic cream. A man with a jewish hat on goes by. The ice cream couple have stopped and they are thinking about where to sit. the break sdancer has got up again. A bicycle pauseses by him and then pedals on slowly. Frances should get a bicycle again. Frances hears a kid talking, he’s with his sister and parents and another woman and anotherpointing man and a woman with a bag. Frances ist stiff from sitting cross legged so she put the plap top on the grass and types with one hand under her knees. When I was a bout two says a boy. i’ve been to the millennium stadium stays the other. A man walks closely pat with janitor groudsers on. His arms are sauntering. /a dig barks at another dog, come on and it strains on th leash, another pooldle in white. a breast strap dog is over there by the woman walking it, it isn’t straining. Someone cheers from behind, wooh yueah. someone else cries Ah!Frances isn’t with the girl wiho is behind her but she’s only fifteen fieet away. A kid runs up the hill and his mum is out of breath. She cries something in a spanish sort of lauage. She takes of f her handbag. Some girls in three go past with cappuccinos, two of them tipping at the same time. A bushchair is being pulled up the slope behind the man pulling it. A girl sith white orousers is carying her white jacket, she is wering a tgreen t shirt. A boy laughess with flofppy arjsa as he comes down the hill. He goes on all fours at the bottom to wait for his little brother who is bgalloping in a very overgrown white vest that is on b ack to front. The man with the red bicycle that pedalled slowly by the breakdancer has come back again, he goes from left to right this time. A poodle scrapes its legs back as if i t has done a wee, it is on a led being taken by a boy with his frindds both in topless shorts. A woman with a wobbly ba goes past in bre feet with a very loud ipod. She is teadinto on tiptoes through the long grass and I can hear her music. Ther’es hte ice crema van agian.Frances listened to Honor Blackman on the radio wthis mornig, frances still thinks abtou Ross and heis black people murmurings. Ross says he was a balack man and Frances sthinks why is the black man described asa black man. A b umble bee goes past. Someon e posted a goal, hter’s a man playing foorball nearby on the hill to people that are behind Frances. She talks about a pinball machine and screches no! there’s a ball thud. the airplanes go past slowly when they are low in the sky. they don’t blas their engines like the ones high in the sky. Frances locks her fingers around her knees. She sees its only 6.36. Frances ehtinks she’ll go tot he pub early. whe wants to eat squid.

Frances sits on her own inthe pub restuarant and lights up. there’s no squid on the menu but frances decides to halve a starter and a main course. Frances is joined by a couple, the man sunglassesd on his head like Frances . the girl sits with her back to frnces in a jumperdesign shirt with her hair down in brown. there has been a refurbishment and possibly management takeover since Frances was last here. there are ornate cowslips in the room next door, bright pink on a background of etched black. The colour below dedo is purple and there are lots of mirrors to make the room feel large. Frances saw a chav in the window when she came in. Frances stood by the kitchen to wait for a watier to make her booking. She spoke to one of the chefs who said someone was coming, and there was a tablebable free after all. The guy ant the bar makes noises that the till makes, he is talking to the waitress who got Frances her table. Frances gts a new ashtray. there are some people in the garden outside. There are more tables withou glasses laid for dinner outside. They used to be picnic benches with rows for six. An extractor fan from the kitchen is going on. Frances keeps typing though her starter has already arrived. Frances looks at ti. The large plate has a blini with smoked salmon wrapped round grenery and a slice of large lemon. there is a lettuece garnish ontop and some grilled lines of blasanic dressing. Frances opted for a large glass of white Pino grigio, not a small one. Frances thinks the talbe is quite high. She sits sideways to the table with the laptop on the r knee. She looks at the table to her right with the giant bliini. It is like an eleaphant poo the way it stands out from the plate, like the shape of the mound of elephant encouragement. Frances has a pepper pot and a small glass bowl with salt. It is open salt, probably hand dried. the candle is in a purple glass and the table next to it has one with a red glass. the floor is beighe. There is an old fashioned cutler holder tht stands beneath the tomato cketchup and larger peper pots. The music comes on all of a sudden. there is another waiter and a tweed bag comes in wth her husband or chav. The music is Jamaican. She is in a summer dress. There is an orchid by a pinoecone on the wall over there. There is a visa sticker in the window. It is almost quarter past seven. The girl can be seen from here in the mirror. The chav says something in spanish and she repilies its true. Maybe it wan’t spanish. Seems to be australian. Frances is no longer intimidated. The music comes through from next door. The . Frances puts down her sunglasses so tht they are on her nose agaoin. Frnes thinks of the photographer that she used to work for and of the time he mentioned Chris in the pub. Frances is about to spend thirty quid on her meal. Frances didn’t get paid much when she worked for th e photographer. Frances did it as a hobby almost. Frances thinks the photographer would read this and Frances wouldn’t think it was fair. What was Frances doing when she iwas volunteering? Frances was glad to be doing something. Frances didn’t actually do very much. She jsut turned up when she felt like it. This isn’t strictly true, but there wasn’t a great deal fro frances to do. Frances thinks ther replacements would have been more computer proficient but they would have demanded more pay. Frances was galad to get out of the Venture Capital Way. frances hought about the Venture capital job and how she had to go and find the watch. Frances hid it on the loo behind a piece of pape r but she was sent back to get it. Frances thinks of diamonds falling inpavements. Can she esee yone? France drinks mor wine. Another table of four have trnbed up. Red or white?

Frances doesn’t understand her employment history at all. Frances has pins and needsles. they’re in her left foott. the girl leans on a case of wind while the man chops cucumber. She i wearing a green top. Frances thinks of all the standing up. Frances is glad she is sitting down. A man with a poiity nose and a woman stroking her belly come in. They want a table for the same amount of them. Aj table for two. Frances hasn’t unravelled her napkin. she has got until nine oclock to stay here. They get a table by the Visa in the window sticker. there are tow people outside getting into a convertible. Frances i s glad the little girl inthe park turned up. Frances still feels she did the right thing by not getting up. Frances left the park when a boy was bouncing a ball int eh gate. Frances rcrossed the road tby the pelican crossing. She followed behnid a strappy top in an austarlian hat. Frances looked across aththe Princess of Wales. She thought about the associated things she walkds bpast. Frances thought she heard a cough from behind the schoold gate. A slightly mad person waved his finger at her. in a friendly mad gesture. There wsas a girl Frances had to vovertake. It was outside a flat where a dad stood and watched his kids go skateboard down the street. Frances din’ t lok at the children, she looked at the woman ifn front of her who slowed her pace to look at her mobile. Frances needs to instigate her mnew mobile that she bought inFebruary. Frances ihasn’t used it for some time. Frances is going to wati ttill half past seven before hshe eats. The other couple have finished their starters. The one with glasses has taken the glasses off his head. He puts his fingers up the side of thehis cheek. The waitress gives them a new knife and fork. The table of four have two old geezers and a girl that frances can’t see. Frances thinks its a girl. There is a wiater that comes by for a bowl of sugar.

This is the engineer. A chav blew his nose when frances as at the kitchen hood. He tdid turn away to do it but Frances felt is t was wrong in her presence. Frances upt up with it. Frances is slightly endeard by dust an d nasal movements, not to mention bowel moviemtns and improvements. Fraces rearranges the table so that she can type behind the starter that she hasn’t yet toucedd. She will in forty secondstme. Frances suqueezes the olemon and moves the knife. Frances eats the cucumber grate in the middle after the blini firtst mouthful. She tries to string tout the time it takes to eat the starter The starter is quite large for a starter but it is main course priced at £64.50, that says £6.50 Frances quie clikes the cheese at the bottom of the cucumber tower the blinis inice and soft liek a pancake. Frances thad a terrible version of this in a hum drum pub before tshe went t o work at Comic reolief. Theat was the curumbly optio n with fetta cheese that frances had with a fruity top. Frances was writing about Michael Jackson then, she wonders if she has noved on. The week’s progresion has been momentous and precitpitous A waiter that frances hasn’t seen claps his hands in the air and then drinks something with a lemon slice int it. Frances wouldn have been satisfied with the starter as a main in fact but she has to follow theough tiwht th e order and the price tag. A couple join frances to her left. They have the red campbell. The wiclapping waiter introcuces the soup to the m as spicy conr. Frances never got that treamtemtn. Frances feels a bit drunk and doens’t know if she should have another glass to make her feels sick. Te guy next door asks where the cigarette machine its. He needs change fo r the machine. Frances has her glasses on.

Frances thinksabot the photobgapher. he can’t tbe that bad. Frances gets her pate taken away. Frances thiks she could get in tougch. Frances repeatsthat the starter was declicious to the waiter. He says thank you very mcuh. Its a different watiter with dark hair. He gives her a back to fron t knife and fork. The fork ois on the right. Frances lifts her sunglasses to put them on her head. Frances hasn’t mentioned that her neighbout with the need for cigarettes hiis chinese. He has come back with camel cigarettes. He recommends the cod to his girlfirend, hat is Frances’ choice. He stubs his cigarette onthe table befoer he smokes it. Frances glasses’ gall off the back of her head and they drop to the dfloor. The cigarette man’s girlfirnd says sorry as she reaches ti pick them up. Frances says sorry and so does the igirl. Frances main course arrives just when’she’s lit her cigarette. The icigarette guy has Brasil on his T Shirt. Franceshas been said tsorry to, end of sotory. A chambpagene bucket arrives on their table. Frnces could order somting soft. Frances scratches her ear ofr no apparent reason. The cigarette man tlks about wearing chinosto work. frances looks at her plate. Se\s gpt cpdcod and braod beans. Cheers Debbeoe, happey summer. Frances stubs out her cigarette nd bups. The coup[le b y the Visa sticker are tuking in without tlaing. She lhelps herself to another hcip that i a side order. France laughs to herself. FThis is a visible edemonstration.

the cod is on mashed potato, it costs fifteen pounds. Frances lives opposite a chip shop. its’ sthe cigarette mans birthday. he smokes Camel. Frances looks across at the girl friend, prbobalbyl not ana ctual grilfriend. She has hersunglasses on herhead.

Frances thinks what it would be like to send this doucment to the radios how. Frances went on adate with cris somtime back, she isn’t sure when. Frances would have ogone on the ukulele course at the country dance centre. Frances wondrers how she would have played. Frances bought a ukulele some time ago but it was out of tune so she gave it to Oxfam. Its nearly five to so Frances decides to tuck in. She could spend half an ohour eating., Frances jumps her arm at a bang from the counter. There are new people over there, htere are three of them. Frances sees a man come in at the door and he joins the three of them, . He is in a stripy shirt. /frances eats curious risps at the top of her co, d they’re like the wall paper with funy patterns on them. Frances has never seen them before but they taste quite unsalted and a bit bland. There’s also a very distinctive pink garnish that Frances eats. It is potatoey fruity and tastes of soap. Another girl joins the table othat swere three. there are now six of them. Frances bashes her funny bone on the table but she doens’t find it ticklish. It was on the lower arm end of her funn bone., not striclty on her funny bone. The ashtray gets changed by the guy. Meanwhile a waiter has just elivered a blini to the Camel and he eats it though his now confirmed gilfiend down’ts have a starter. Frances has begun to eat her main dish fromthe fara side. She has taken up this ahabit with beingg modest. Frances thinks starting further waway and eating nearer is about subtlety. the camel eats his nearest first. The mashed potato is a lovely etexture with the cod and the sauce isvery tsty. Frances presses the fish to mash into the mash before spooning a mforkful. Frances is slightly hunched over her plate,he doesn’tneed to sit upstarigh. This makes frances want to pull her chair in. Frances pulls her chair in. This makes Frances burp. whe’s about half wy through but its past eight o’clcock Frances is glas d that she is taking longer to eat her food. The room is actively nosiey, above the clinks and the witer movemtn. The couple vy the visa sticker are talking agian because their food has gone.

Frances never thought she’d like eating on her own. the lights dim. Frances is surpirsed how good the compnay of a computer is. Frances seems to cope with havingg somtething to type. Frances saw a ksmeall kid on a mobile phone this morning. Frances watched her fronm the queue to get money out of the wall. She was in her pushchair. frances watches the crowd of xis all asay cheers. Camel is looking forward to the world cup. he smokes another cigaretee. They are now established ads going out from what i heard about he birthday arrange,ments. this is his birthday. Frances wondrers about the dirfrerence bettween I and Frances. frances is a bystander. Frnces drinks pino griogio. Cponversatinn is indecipherable in al l the vocal noises. the girl by the visa sticker has a black top on , she is sleeveless and she fiddles with the lid of the Hilton. Frances is completely full up. She clares her throat and hs no room for coffee. She sees the girl has taken the same order as she had. the cod is very good. Frances wonders if she could smoke. Frances could do anything she wanted to. Franceds gets heartburn, a sort of urge from her lug gregion. Frances fiddes with what’s in the maouth, she tongue icks a piece of fish. The visa sticker couple are sttleing their bill Frances thinks about when she will leave. Fthe ivsa sticker man coughs into his napkin. the girl inspects her fingernails. the transaction from the portable kebyapad toes thoughand he is givn the reiceipt. The visa girl jay have left her scruncie behind TIts been hungon the peg ut it isn’t lclear where or who leftit. the camel swaps some of his main course. frances burps. Some of the smoke blows up francdes’ nose. She must be in a draught of some kind. Frances recrosses her legs. Frances hsouldn’t have them crossed. The visa siticker table has been rlaid. The girl has left her garnish at hte edge of her plate. he isn’t going to eat it. She drinks while Camel wipesw his mouth. The waitreess takes the orders of he bable for six. there is a man with a red finged polo shirt ant the bar and Frances sees him wave his hand in hthe air. She hinks he looks like Jude Law. Frances is preoccupeied in a distant way with people who may be here or not. Frances still thinks she is best friens with famous people. Frances would probalby havine nothing to say to them. There are steaks going down the sides of the Camel pair’s awater ottle. Its a hildon one.

Frances snaps a match when she re litghts her last cigarette. she hasn’t been approached for an oinvoice at this point. Frances coud look around for some attention. Frances sees the waitrees is busy. the original couple with the girlfriend with the jujpreer desing shirt ahs been halved. The fivner cheeking man sits on hisown while she has goneto the loo. Frances battery is running low. Frances sees a man in a pink jujper come into the room. ee says somethingand goes out again. There is a flah in the room, someone takes ap ohotograph. A woman with a see through white top and a nclace that macthcw her turpaquoise trousers coes in. Frances is intending to go. the whold erestaurant is full apart from three tables. Two of the trhee tabels are joined together. A man buts his arm on the back of Fances chair, he sas sorry. frances doesn’t turn around but she carries on typing. frances notes with satifsfaction it is twenty eight minutes past eight. The couple are both wearing flip flops. She has a metallic bag with a document for a flight path form the Flight centre.

Frances drops her recipt on the floor when she bends tdown to piuck up her bag. Frnces is clumbsy. A scheduled backup of the home folder plan is about to strt. If you choose to ckip this backup it will be attempted again at the net scheuled date and time. I you do nothing …the seconds have counted down. Frances watis for the waitress to come back and take her debit card apemtn for thirty one pounds. This includes service. frances wants to go. A car outside pauses, looking for a prking space? The girl hs not touchecd her champange. It is fizzing in the glass. Camel lifts his champagne to drink it. Why is she restrining? Fances has her handbag on the table. She has put it there in full view. the watiress clears herir menus for pudding. Frances sees a man in a white t shir, a young slip of a thing. The man, not his t shirt. The camel is making actions for payment. Frances is behind them in the quue. Frances doenst mind. frances has no more cigarettes to smoke. Frances may buy some mroelater. Frances intends to put th meatches in her bag. She does.Frances recrosses her glegs. She watches a waiter come out with a white wine bottle to the talbe of six. Frances wonders wher the waitress has gone, she wans to pay. The bottle is Viu Maneuert or something. A lady with a tanned face is looking in Frnces direction at the man seated with his back to her. Frances signals to the watiress. he is holding a cork screw, and has just cleeared some plates away. Grances waonders how she would finish the champange of the Camel couple. Frances thinks ther’s quite a lot left. The girl knocked her fotot on Frances a minute ago. she said sorry so that’s three sorries sor afar. Another couple and a nother girl pair arrive, one has a red top with white spots. The camel hgirl has gone to the loo wso there’s some atmospheric space between Frances and the camel smoker. He is’t smoking at themomet. The waitress arrives back with her payment keypad. She processes the transaction and tears of f the reciept. She inspects Frances’ name on the card. Frances says thank you. So does she. Frances folds her apking how she found it in three foleds across and three folds down.

Frances left her empty packet of B&H on the table of the restaurant, this could b e one of the reasons everyone coughted when frances left the engineer. Frances at on the bus and wondered where she went wrongg. Frances wondered who lal l the people in the restaurant were. Frances is now back at home smoking and sheis watching QI. She has jus t senta n email asking the photogrpaher if he wants to go and stalk Chris Evans with her. Frances is watching speed cameras on QI. Jeremy Clarkson is there. They’re joining sdots in the stars of what the greeks thought of astronomy. Frances wants to go and watch Wogan on Wednesday, she got an email from the applause store.

Sunday 4

Frances ruminates on yesterday and the bushes. Frances dfeels stupid for leaving her cigarette packet behind and wonders wherether another girl hasto get lost and another day has to be spent worsening the latrine percentage of a dog park. Frances thinks dogs are ont e thing but that humans can’t join in. Frances appreciates that the man in the Washington didn’t feel she looked in the mirror accurately. Frances looked in the mirror and saw green bushes, she was n’t being ironical and Frances has to hand it to the man that her purpose was innocent. Frances also hands it to the man on the bar for lifting up the independent paper. Frances hope s she will have an independent life one day.

Frances has spent the morning in bed looking at the arms leeves of her clothes. Frances has been wearing her new top to wear it in because she may wear it o bn Thursday. frances only mentions the arms of her tops because her wardrobe is hung on a naked rail. Frances went back to bed becaue she ‘d been loosened up by he night before. Frances gts tired of having roto report this. Frances sees a micro fly the same size as the one yesterday. frances isnt sharp enough to snap it in the ir, its completely disappeared. Perhaps if Frances coud do somehthing magic she could ski p out ghaving to go round the long way. Frances iamagines trapipsing around on goose chases. frances loosens her watch strap and looks at the marks underneath. Time flies, Frances thinks. Frances fingers her left ear again. She wants to buy come more scigarettes. She althernated the s and the c with some and cigaretetes. She keeps swapping letters in a manner that she cwould describe as subconscious.

Frances is persuaded by sloth, he doesn’t want to type it out. rances sits on her chair wanting to buy some cigarettes. frances hiccups. There goes the fly again. frances has tbeen thinking about washing and the best day to do it. Frances has enough change but she dioesn’t feel like getting deressed. frances has nher new top on which is almost a dress. Frances has a problem with her smelly jenans and smelly next rtrousers, they’re beginning, they are smelling bad and its somehing that only the dry cleaners may be able to fix. Frances somethow dowubts it, and feels the fabric has been skunked.

Frances regrets pulling off the skirting board by the paper shreder. Frances doid this some years a go. it looks stupid and frances gets a tickle on her fott. It could be the fly, it is somewhere out there. There is a new fly bigger than the micro fly. Frances also trapped a fly in the bathroom this morning. She has see n three flies thoday.

Frances went into the bathroom to sort out the fly with a swat but she wasn’t that sharp. She bashed the window and the walls a bit nad poured away her basin water. Frances has left the fly in detention by shutting the bathroom door. She hope s it will thirst and be easier to swat later. Frances went and bought come cigarettes. She was thinking about her feet. Frances adores her feet but they’re the point of the foetus. Frances goes on about her broeken toe and she was only this morning admiring the silohouette of her dancing feet. frances has a longer toe on the other foot. frances thinks she is a ballerina. Frances could dance in clogs she thinks. Frances hearly went over on her block shoes when she put them on to togo to the supermarket. Frances goes to Sainsbury’s quite a lot. Frances saw a very eager child lori picking the cards. Frances saw a little boy playing with the cards the other evening when she went and bought pot noodle. Frances takes off her sungalsses. She got them in soho the ohther year, and the man took the screw and changed it on the nose piece. Frances has inadvertently highlighted the word ‘the’ on the screen. Frances wants to browse the intenet. Frances likes it when Jools calls it the interweb, she thinks she may hchange her noun for it.

Frances doesn’t really like the skin on peaches but she eats it anyway. Francest ought about nectaines last year and how the skins aren’t furred. Frances assumes furred skin means development, she shouldn’t eat nectarines if they are children. Frances could peel the skin off her peahcehs because when the peache is riipe the skin goes wirinkled. Stub.

Frances ate two poached eggs for breakfast. She had them on brioche riolls. frances thinks they taste like Sue. sueis a naeighbour who has tasteless ornaments. Teh brioche are swetet and Frances ate two more brioche with her packet soup. She added the dried up parsley tha t she bought fresh from the supermarket, so the soup had some fresh ingedients. Frances dusted Sue’s ornaments when she first came to london. Frances was tied up in prime ministerial devotions. Frances watched the Pope on the television alst nitgght, he’d been visiteding Colonel Ratzinger. France s means acardinal. She menasns pope. Frances picks her nose and botgeis the tray. its on the edge. Frances has been bogeying her cushion, but the stains aren’t attractive. Frances is too far sat down to get up for a handkerchief.

Frances hasn’t thrown away her mars bar wrapper. its on the table with her hle puncher and telephone. Frances is sitting in the sitting room. Her tv isn’t plugged in, it isn’t swtitched on. Frances is accompanied by Jools Holland’s music theme tune. It goes bam did di di di di diba ba bam.Frances re reads the paragraph. the TBV is plugged in tbut it isn’t switched on. frances likes watching the jazz program nonSaturday evening. frances scratches her lip. Frances needs to clean her fingernails. Frances picks them.

Frances checks her hotmail account and she has an email from the disney girl who is on maternity leave. Frances tries to send ther reference request by email to her coleleage but there’s an automatic delivery fialure notification. frances will have to write to carolyn by post. Frances polishes her sunglasses with her jupmper and puts them back on. Frances thinks about a wedding she went to three years ago and how she turned into a cantering horse. Frances

Frances went to bed

Frances got up eventually. She sat about until 6pm when she decided to eat a paceach or two. Frances had just fin. frances sat down with some korma that serveds four. She ate it out of the carton fwith a spoon. Frances sat down and watcchded Marion and Robin, Robin and Marion. Frances didn’t thinks hed’ seen the end before. The scene is about poison. Frances felt a painful heart at the end of the program. There were pictures of applish peaches.6 Frances wonders about the poison story and the commentator said that love can be lethal. Frances is watching Top of the Pops nosw. She picks her belly button at 7.47 and a n emergency behicle ogoes past.

Frances wanders into the kitchen for a drink of ginger. She drinks it mostly at once, pausing half way back to the sitting room to conclude that she’ll finish it off sheo she can have some chewing gum. Frances takes the glsass back and there’s still ten minutes till top Gear. She gets a stick of Orbit and considers the wash out factor that mint has over ginger. Frances could have had the cheing gum later. Because of the speed that Frances drank the ginger she now desperately needs the loo oeven though that was only about five minutes ago. Frances couldconcentrate. Her neighbour katharine sounds like she’s come back fom her weekend in Germany. She ahas jangly keys. Frances jiggles about on the sofa but she plans to wait for another hour before going.

Frances has just watched half of a perfect storm, she didn’t think the americans did sad endings but that’s what it was. Frances watched the ship go down just before they’d saved everyone inclusding the rescue men.

Monday 5th June

This is the day that Frances rings the Fragile X society agian and she speaks to Lynne whowse voice is familiar and frances gets suspicious. Frances thinks she has spoken to Lynne before, and Lynne toells her about the carriers fof Frangile X. Frances explains she’s only sychizoferenic but that she would like the literature. Lynne gives frances the name of a nurse at Northoldt Hospital whose maidedn name is Calton. Frances typest his down but she deletes it later on that evening when she upulls the sociket of the internet from her USB port. Frances tries to retrievethe oled file with Backup but she doesn’t get anything more moredern than Sunday’s save. Frances finds this losss irriatating but she dosn’e t exert any bodily signs. Frances has just finished watching the final of the X fractor and she was pleased that Lucy won. Frances immeidately bought a Janet Reger bra and gave herself a brazilian. Frances wonders what ther elveanc eis oto tuning onto the girl poswer. Frances behaves like a lesbian by eating cheese and onion crisps shwhen she hasn’t washed her hands afterwards. Frances made herself bleed by givingg herself a brazilian, little spots of blood. Frances is annoyed at the woman called Lynne, frances has alrdady said this. Frances wants to meet lindsay off the television. She was featured in the news programs and on This morning that frances watchedb ecause she wasn’t working. Frances feslt she has met >Lindsay before, and she blames this on Lynne who could want ther to than k her for being in the Fragil e X charity. frances wonders how she knows Lynne, she didn’t really need to speak to her. Frances spoke to Amanda on Fridya ay and that was enougtht. Lynne asked frances to spell her name for her, as if Frances was a spell of some sort. Frances heard her say Moray on the television pronounced Murray, frances means the telephone. Frances spoke to Lynne dfor a good twenty minutes in the afternoon. Frances told lLynne dthat she was schiezofrenic and that she was just interestd. Frances took down the names of the nurse from Northold Hospital whose madien neam e wa s Calton, Frances has already written this. Frances doesn’t think she’s more than a carrier of the X fgene. Frances trid to establish Fragile X ads a mental health condition but the woman just said it was for people with learning disabilities. Frnces dropped her batteries druing Chris’ show becausewhe was throwing away the unmenlted wax from the new batch of metoing. melting.

six minutes past midnight

Tuesday 6th June

QQ

Frances keeps losing her text when the computer crashes. frances wrote several pages today, tryig to keep up with yestersday when hshe lost her wriitings. frances keeps having to go gback to heehe start. Frances is half way through a bottle f reisling. she’s rittenabout ll sort of things including Kristen Scott Thomas who said in her text back to clarkson that she’d phone the olice if he didn’t respect thre restraining order. Frances cut her fingernails and her toenails tody.

Frances watches big brother and she’s surprised tht Caesar ins’t there. Frances thinks Caeisear is a chrmer and she is surprised that he isnt’ there. Frances is surprised that Caesar isn’t ther. Frances watches the nominations for the housemates to be evicted and Frances imagines what she’d say. Frances would ltet people off by nominating them. She is grateful for the bitching tuition. f Rances feels if she knew what she said by recorded method she’d say nicer thingas about epopele. Frances lives on her own and the evistion is done. Frances realised at seven fifften athat she had visitors round at six fifteen. frances went to the chippie at six fifteen and when she got back there was onoone there. Frances listened to the radio show, the bit about phoning estate agents but she was oblivious. Frances flat was in a tip and she hadn’t cleaned up a single bit. There was coriander all over the hchopping boatre, there were dcigarettes on the sofa, there were piles of packets from lunch’s fajita. Frances hadn’t even bmade her bed. Frances thinks the estate agens must have got a shock. Frances waas very untidy. Frances will have to ring the estate agents in the morning to apologise for such a messy flat. Frances is wating for her flat to be sold. Frances feels the market hsas gone cold. Frances is watchingbig bother.

Frances

Wednesdy 7th june

Frances opens her calender file to put in the next flat viewing. It is later on tody at 6pm when Frances will be with Terry wogan. Frances has just got a message from Bill about the painting. the dottage is taking longer than expectd but the wood work downstairs has beendone. francee sis lookingr rforward to sending hr furntiture up . Frances persists writing up what she lost the day before, oand on this account, Frances still has to mention top Gear. On Top Gear, Clarkson texted Kristin about hte peugot and frances was among the viewers. Kristin texted Clarkson back saying he must be aware of the restaraining order and that she’d call the police if he came round. Kristin was very serious, signalling to Frances that she’d better stay put. Frances didn’t intend to visit Kristin but she hsasn’t forgotten the time when Frances stookd outside the playhouse for Kristen’s autoagraph. Frances stood outside the theatre and kristen used her pencil to write her name. Frances has thrown it away now but perhaps htere’s a significance win sharing implements. Frances doesn’t want to be Kristen’s stalker but she feels told off by what Kristen texted. Frances used to be a keen theatre goer but she has now cooled off her pestering bisits. Frances is ashamed to be a girl because she is a girl and nnothing like Kristen who lives in Paeris. Frances is going to watch Wogan today but sheisn’t going t o hunt his autograph. Frances stalked chris at the weekend in the same way she stalked Johnny and Shane MacGowan. Frances likes keeping up with mysterious calls to fame and she can smoke her cigarette while she is watiting.

Frances spoke to the woman from Fragile X on monday and Frances feels stalked tby the woman from Fragile X. Frances received the name of the nurse at the Northolt hospital whose maiden name is Calton. Frances could aslk for a DNA test to see if she is a carrier. frances explained that she was just a schizofrenic to the woman on the telephone. Frances has no real desire to be Fragile x but she wants to meet Lindsay who was on the television. the woman called Lynne spoke to Frances on Monday after Frances hasd spoken to Amanda on Friday. It was not strictly necessary for Frances sto speak to Lynne as well as Amanda but Lynne ounds lieke Mimi and Mystic Meg. Frances has spoken to lynne heberofre on a plain she doesn’t understand. Frances dwoulnd’t have phoned Lynne fif Lyndsay’s sister hadn’t died withher son. Frances watched This monrnign last week and she saw Lindsay and her live sister. Frances met them sovmewhere and somewhern bu t bFrances isn’t sure when. Frances think s Lynne manuipulated Frances by telling her about Fragile X, a diseas e that attracts people who think they’re horrible. Frances doens’t think she’s horrible and she told Lynne she had no social problems whatsoever. Frances is going to the drinks party and she’ll cope fine. Frances thinks Lynned ipreys upon people who are lost causes, and Frances regrets having talked to Lynne in many ways. lynne has a deep cvoice like a know all soul. Frances shifts her chair back. She whas moppe the floor and cleaned the bthroom because she feels bad about the state thre flat was in when the visitors came to call. frances was almost unaware that the visitors came ebecause she snuck ofver the road to buy some chips, some fish and chips with salt and vinegar.

Frances badly wants to dump but she isn’t going to go. she is listening to the cars passing outside. Frances sees the time, it is eleven twenty nine. frances sits with her laptop on her knee in the kitchen. Frances has chaine smoked this morningg, she only hastwo left. Frances even had a shower this mronging and she feels much better.

Frances wonders where she knows Nicky from. Nicky is from Big Brother. Frances feels confused as to why she knows someone on the television. Frances isns unconfortalbe so she decides to dump anyway. frances scratches her head.

Frances swatted a daddy long legs in the bath. she put it in the bin and didn’t wash it down the plug. Frances used Cif to clean up the bath and he evn wiped down the bathroom surface. Frances only washed one leg of the daddy long legs down the plug, it was left behind because it fell off. Frances looks at her last peach that is pretty wrinkled. It is ready to pbe peeled. It sis on Frances’ black laquer tray on the kitchen talbe, and frances has scattered the tray with wtwo peppers, two red onion s and some radishes. there is quite a lot of red on the tray. Frances only has one yellow pepper. she ate the orange on e with her jfajita yesterday. Frances made quit e a mess with all the stalks of coriander. Frances even put tomato on the floury sor to f pizza even thouggh whee is generally off tomatos. Frances hasn’t eatien the spicy mix and she isn’t even toign to recycle the cardboard box that the fajitas came in becauese the box would make her wicker basket look jiunkish.

Is francces going to get drunk at the ocktail party? Frances’ ticket got lost inthe post’ and she thinks its been nabbed by the social workers. France will be under surveillance, just like P Green stalked her at the choir. Frances remembers P green outside the reharsal place and he was wandering about to see if she ‘d talk to him. Frances doesn’t like being stalked. Frances’ cursor just jumped to the paragraph before, to the word plug. Frances had to press apple page down to get back to where she was typing. Frances cut her toe nails and fingernails heyesterday. Frances did this at about the same time yesterday. France is now on Wednesday . Frances watched Newsnight yesterday evening and she looked at the profile of Michel White from hte guardian. Frances respects people who don’t look straight into the camera. frances thinks it takes a lot of courage to do this, there are so many voeyerus. Frances stubbs out the old smoke of her cigarette that relit itself in the ashtray. Frances looks at her PING umbrella she has ben wondering if she should name it. Frances could write her name on the umbrella with a fabric market. Frances would open i t up and see her name on the white part. Frances listens to the cleaner who has come to clean the flat upstairs. He knodcks on the door. Francs heard him come last week at about the same time. Frances hears him go up the stairs.

Frances is goingg to go on the roof with Catherine on the fifteen, the weekend of thefifteenth. Franceesis looking forward to this. She wanted to aslk Catherine for her flat keys so she could go there during the day. Frances hasn’t got aotournd to this and feels that wshe probably shouldn’t ask. frances crosses her legs. Frances has a ladder that she lent Catharine las t year, during the winter. she didn’t lend it for very long. Frances asked for the ladder back because she thought Catharine was a friend of Mr Bush. FRances thought Catharine was a spyof some sort because the epeople who were there before were odd. They had a large dog. Frances qutite like d the dog that they had. Frances wanted to talk e the dog for a walk. Apparently the flat was in a real mess when the y left it and it had to be paintd. FCateherine saw the flat before it was done and it was grybby paparently. Frances could ask Catharine to leave her flat and cliaim that she wons it. Franceshad the keys to the lat and had to hand them over. Frances feels robbed by the people upstairs who said that sthere would be intruders if she didn’t havnd over the keys. Frances had the same problem downstairs, but she handed over the keys stupid girl. Frances could be a millionaire if she woned the whole building. frances owned the ohwhole buiding when she bougght her flat. Frances coulnd’t afford to the bpay the buildiners for the improvements. Frances is an idiot.

Frances is wearing a seethrough top today. It is nice and cool. Frances hasn’t done her washing this week but she intends to. Frances has used all the change so she doesn’t have spare pounds for the washing machine. Frances spent the change she set aside on cigarettes. Frances cscratches her head.

Frances goes to lie down.

Frances eats the ay backwards by eting salsad followed by cereal for lunch. the onions are too oniony in the salead of peppers and radishes. Frances uses the french dressing that she bought from marks and spencer the week before last. Its been kept in the kitchen drawer but hasn’t gone off. Frances still has Paul newma’s from even lkonger ago, from about the end of April but she dheosn’t thinks that’s gone off ieher,Frances goes into the hall to check if she’s gont any post again, she never knows if some post will slip past th poest man. Frances doesn’t have any post. She is looking forward till Friday when she will bhave a bumper collection of her new sequinned jumper, her new bra and something else she can’t put her finger on, oh yes, the new baby grow bigb that has the ends sown up. Frances has lots of friends who are having babies.

Frances feels sorry for Jo bacecause she has such a rotten husband. that loks like the convservative opposition. Frances feels sorry for the government, it has lots of casualties. Frances thinks that it is a shame she didn’t say so. Frances idisapproves of some people and what they’re like. Frances is on her own. frances
Frances has just been to get more cigarettes. She got money form the hole in the wall. When Frances went to the newsagents there was a man that said he didn’t like the people in the post office. frances agreed but didn’t say anyting, she just thought she hoped it wasn’t a racist remark. Of course it wasnt’ because the man was talking to the newsagents, but frances has clouds of doubt when she hears things about people she knows are Indians. Frances has made an ally iin her brainwith the man who said he didn’t like the people in the post offic.e frances will think of him when she next goes to collect her post, even thought hat isfrom a ifdifferent post office. Frances has written three letters today, two that she will post, and she has used second class stamps. Frances has writen to Ntion wide because the telephone call centre aren’t able to elp her and neither is the internet inquiries desk who said that asking for the bank sort code and account number was too senstivie to send by email. Frances also wrote to Disny and she wants them to give her a referenc.e Frances has printed tout the letter she typed to the squatting neighbour saying she’ll consider selling to her if she goes through the estate agents. Frances arng the estate agent, Ben and she apologised for the nmess the flat was in yesterday. There will be people coming round tomorrow.

Frances watched a program about a mastectomy yestrerday evening. It finished at midnight. Frances felt queasy and had to go to bed but she kept on watching until the girl came round from her operation, so she was sticking her nose in to other people’s prviate affairs. The girl had been on the radio gaining supperort from the listenership. The DJ dedicated songs to the girl called Jo whose mother had a mastectomy. She had a cancer gene that probably meant she would develop breast cancer. She preempted the cancer by having her breasts removed and the doctor showed the video the things that ehe put inside the skin before the jelly rpeplacements that would be put in at a later date. Frances saw the drawing on sthe breasts that were being removed, felt pen makrs. Frances keeps smoking. Frances has had twenty two so far today. She is sittingg on the sofa. She’s had twenty trhee in fact and she’s about to smoke her twenty fourth.

Frances looked at slide projectors on the web yesterday, there’s one in the sale for five hundred quitd with twenty percent off. frances wants to buy it, its on sale till the end of June. Frances sees that it connects directlyinto lap tops, it has a USB port that she could link to her slides. Frances could make a good presentation form her laptop nd project it onto the wall in her new cottage. Frances gets a needle in the instep of her right foot, she wonders what this means, she just scratched her head. Frances went online and edeleted quite a lot of emails. She unsubscribed from the Globe and blocked it as junk mail. Frances has got kasia’s telepone number. She could put it in her mobiel phone. Frances sent a text to the photographer but he hasn’t replied. May be it didn’t go. Frances topped up yesterday evening and at first her otop up didn’t go through, but when she rang the other number to complain about the qualituy of the line he detected that it could have been a rogue coaller. It ruturned out it wa s just the guy who coulnd’t worprocess frances’ card and he said it was because it was an Indian call centre. frances wasn’t suspicous of the man from the Indian call ccentre, heis colleague was more suspicious than frances was. The colleague rang Frances back on her home line and said she could reach him on saturday between 1pm and 1am, a very long shift Frances thinks.

Frances sends an email to James to explain that she isn’t a rogue. FJamees probably thinks the Chris Evans emiail was a howax. frances has set the reord straight. Frances sees a toenaail or a fingernail, yes a fingernail on her tray. It must have got separted when frances cut her fingernails yesterday. Frances has lovely short fingernails at the moment. She has long live parts that sdon’trequire dead extensions of growth. The television cracks. Frances thinks of the time she went and watche dGeroge michael videos when she lived in the place that Frances can’t quite remember. The name of the place is Clapham, that’s what it is. Frances lives in Fulham. Frances could have chosen togog to the drinks party after the party but she chose instead to go hme and talk to gay flatmate who reminds Frances of Graham Norton. flat mate had just had his kitchen done and he had set up a new venture. frances ws invited to stroke his log when they went to a driks party about a wek later. Frances enljoys the attention of gay men. Frances wore her very large blue ring that she has now thrown awa.y. Someobdy at the party thought it was real and Frances felt lik e Jemima or the daugher off the rolling stones lead singer, Mick Jagger, she’s called Jade. Frances has to htink quite hard to remember the names of people so she strings her sentences to make them longer. Frances named drops for some reason, it isn’t that clear why.

Frances thinks she is friends with jad e jagger because of the Spice Grils. Franes met some influential people when she was part time off screen famous. Frances read the article in Vanity Fair about Jade and there was a question about regret. Jade said she regretted losing her best friend and Frances thought it was her. Frances sent an email to Aspreys or Garard or the pjeweller that Jade workds for . Frances said she’d like to get in touch. Frances hasn’t heard back so she’ll have to make to with wihat she’s got. Frances thought about the Jaggers when she swas in the mental health insititute. Frances went to the cinema to watch jack Nicholson and she was reading about Jude Law. frances thought she saw jude on the bench on her way into the cinema but frances will kneverknow if it was or not because she didn’t stop.

Holby City seem to have to epoisodes per week, Frances notes this in the Radio Times. frances wonders when this began, she watched when she was in Scotland and presumed that it had been post poned, but its on again tonight. This makes Holyby into a soap more than it used to be, it has become less than a serial, more of a soap.

Frances is goin off the idea of going to watch Wogan Now and Then. Its ftoo far and the weather is too hot. Frances hasnearly finishe d her packet of cigarettes. Frances will probably amake herself go. Frances has a job to do. She has to go in and out of the studio without making a mistake. She probably can’t do this because of the post office. Frances hasn’t conquered that yet but she’s got the support of the man who says he doen’t like the peopl e in the post office. Frances wonders about all the multitudes of children she’s had and if she’ll ever get to know them. Frances is always confused. Frances thinks about the fifth member of the beatles who died yesterday, they played him out on newsnight. A child di s criying outside in the street and a copper or ambulance goes past. frances may want to go out to eat somewhere when she has finished at the television scentre. Frances thiniks about goingg to eat at the polish restaurant, she could take her laptop. Frances may cuase a mistake if she lingers around the Bush. Frances is starving at the moment but she doesn’t want to drink becasuse she doesn’t want to tgo to the loo whnen she iis at the beeb. Frances culdl last until she gets back and then get a carry out. Frances checks her aemail for signs fo the photographer again. Frances hasn’t heard back from him.

Frances thinks about spanking. What ws she doing/ ? Frances wonder s if Torville could be her aunt. She looks a bit like lindsay. Frances wonders about skating. Frances is ewearing a cleavage top, it goes quite far down. Frances is dressed cooly for th hot weather in her woolen burberry. Frances wants an ice ceream.

Frances doesnt’ mind she’s failed her miossion. She has just come back from Terry wogan and she didn’t prevent her mistake with gun or gum, Frances says Um. Frances tucked straight into her gum at the start of the show but then she thought better of it. Frances thinks she looks less frightining if she chews but she looks more frightning if she doesn’t. Frances didn’t like the gum but there were no bangs apart form edna’s jokes. Frances sat in the front row and fthe floor manager is a long rival of Frances who encourages her to believe that she is responsible for miserable audiences. Indeed the audience was fairly distant but Frances isn’t responsible for it. frances sat in the front row and saw minstrels being handed out to the television crew. Frances smiled in some parts and she clapped her hands in some parts. Frances was just behind the bus from Banbury. Frances wanted to read the flyer but she didn’t awant to get her hands on it. Frances wonders aout the bulleet. Frances could ggo back and beg next week. The first thing she did when she got home was to telephone the applause store again. frances thinks she won’t its an article of faith. Frances was in the midst of a terrbible ruccous, but Frances is a genius. Frances gcould go back and sit in the audience seat a hundred times but frances would still do somethingg wrong. What is wrong with chewing gum? Frances ahs made som e packet soup. She actually has a headaceh that started in the studio. This was to serve her ruight for starting up on the gum, and this was to serve her right for being the won g person. Frances wants to be related to Terry Wogan. She used to look like him when hshe was small. Frances hasd large cheeks and a sort of look about her. Frances saw Terry get embarrasesed in the show. Tfrances thought about times when she let things show. Frances wonders what to do and what to say about Terry and being in the way? FCan’t they just foret what happened and sotop treaating her like a satain, the satan whatever. Frances is sad about what she does, she’s happy, she’s wearing gloves. Frances gets persecuted by doubts she has, she’s over it of course she is. Frances didn’t speak to her neighbour except to offer her some gum. Frances isnow at home and she is dehydrated, on the run.

Frances knows she’s innocent but thids doesn’t help her. Frances has done some helter skelter. Too bad! They had to brin up Oedipus Rex and they had bto bringg up rabbit vibarators. Frances goes back home and sits bakwards on the bus, everything is timing but Frances doesn’ understand. What does havtTerry have in common with what Frances does and what Frances can? Frances thinsk

Frances doesn’t geive a shit what the secret polic ethink, whe hates them for thwat they say and do. Frances is completely lost because of danger and Frances hates having to suffer. Frances has been strung up by a lot of problems and she doesn’t think its fair. Frances shouts and dscreams but she isn’t going anywhere. Frances is blamed for fucking everything and this is true. Frances can hate all she likes but there’s not a lot she can do. People like Frances are ars rareas Dame Edna. Frances fancies she understnads the jokes but Frances is a terrorist. Frances may have had a gun. Frabces may have shot someone. Frances may have been a secret policewoman. frances says extremem theings which is helpful to start with. Can Frances provide anything a bit more secure than that? Frances has got absolutely no idea what happened last night. She has no idea what happened in danger. Frances just has to cop with what she can’t remember. Frances has performance beyond any mnormal measure.

Fuck that!

Frances could divide her attentions away from dinner, she’s just had one scoop too many. Frances could divide her attentions betwenen wogan’s dad and wogan’s man, she could adjust to tiether. Frances could be reassured by what role she has to play, but Frances is in the way. Frances doesn’t know if she decided herself to adopt oedipus’ or oedipus’ gun. Frances gets angry or worried by someone. Frances has just eaten undissolved stock cube, she rang along the pavement with hno suhoes on. Frances is like a next round Jim, try and try and try again. Frances doesn’t know what she’s trying to do. She gets to the show and wonders why is who. frances is no longer tht bothere d about what she’s risked her life for. She realises abour priorities. She realises about minorities. Frances upsets the numbers and the demand to know is an escalator. Frances demands to know why she is come back later, why she is not that potatoe. Frances doesn’t really find much magic when she gets to the honey pot. frances wonders what she watches, wonders about her back and why she has one. Who are all these problems?

Frances cries whens he watches the sportrelief film in India. A reunited boy givees some roses tothe irish presenter. Frances tstits at home thinking terry Wogan is her dad. Frances went trhrough this a long time ago. Frances thinks not more parents! Frances has so many parents to keep up with and so many children. Frances stood up at the wrong time in the stuido. Frances doesn’t think she’s Irish because she has Oedipus to contend with . Frances just doesn’t understand what oedipus is, she is so part of its fabric. Frances watches the news and there have been divisions with the musilims. During the time hta Frances was wathing Terry Woggan No w and Then, there was someone with flour in the Houses ofcommons. Frances thinks there ‘s some kind of realtation to demonstration. Frances sits at home and she is a bit less angry. The man in the supermakret tried to give Frances nectar points for buying cigarettes. Frances told him it wasn’t worth the Twoirl. Frances ate the twirl without really enjoying it. Frances watches Fiona Bruce say goodnight. Frances is about to watch newsnight.

Disunited Kingdom, isheis New Labour’s nightmare? Scotaland should not be separated from England, what a stupid question. Frances thinnks deveoltuion is exhuasitng. How bad is it to mention the war? Frances sent an email to the Evelyn Waugh society asking if she coudld become a menber. Frances sent her stupid apoem about the war, after the war. Don’t mention the war@@!

Frances backs up to her iDisk.

Thursday 8th June

Terry threw imperial mints into the audience. frances woders what an imperial minit is. She has been down this oroad before. frances thinks she’ll ask terry wogan when tey’re going to have a renuion, after all she’s his love child. frances sends an email. frances feels sleepy this morning. frances has just squirted. 7 Frances doesn’t want to have Terry as her dad, she’s just too exhausted. Frances liked teh look of Terry’s handkerchief, she thought ooh, what’s that. Fances sat in the front row of the audience, right behind the camera so she couldn’ t see Terry. frances enjoyed tom Conti. Frances enjoyed dame Edna. Jaramces enjoyed delalio. She thought she awas quitea good spot for the Catholice thing, she thought Delalion would like to see her in the foront row. frances has done quite a thing, she is alive. frances ran for the bus up the Brook green. Frances watsn;t late but she arrived at past five. The main audience had alraeady gone through to the dial. Frances was taken over to the centre by a girl called Georgina who wore a headset. frances didn’t talk to her neighbour except to offer her some chewing gum. Frances sneezes at nine o’clock.8

edna looked like mr Bean when he was she was on stage. Edna was kind to point this out. Frances is constantly Mr bean. Franes would be good at mr. bean if she coudl realise how to play it. Mr. Bean doesn’t intend to entertiain, this is true. Mr. bean on his own is probably blue. frances doesn’t mind. Frances would be alarmed if she had an influential dayd. Frances would be precocious. Frances thinks she could mime Mr. Bean to perfection. Frances could mime Mr. Bean to delection. frances could make Mr. bean look quite attractive. Mr bean at bsase is unattractive. frances laughs at Mr. Bean, he ‘s her protege. Frances played dodgems with a tramp yesterday, just by the Brook Green pub. France s was running past just like Zola Bud. Frances had to set her course straight. She had to look where she was going. Frances doesn’t look where she’s going, she can’t plan. Frances falls into what she is, Frances gets a hapless tan. Frances is told to stop by the radio but she carirs on drinking her coffee. Frances is listening to Jupitus. Frances intends to finish off her coffee.9 9:15 am

Frances wouldn’t have to try to minme, Francces is mime. Frances is mime beyond copany, she is her own station to the oedipal focus. Frances could have a dad as a crocus. Frances liestened to Edna’s poem yesterday and theought Edna was copying her. Frances is a rapper. Frances writes she is arapper because there may be a witty explanation. What could Frances write as a rapp to get her out of helter sketlter.? Frances listens to the streets. Frances rubs her eyes. Frances ties her hair up and intends to post her letters. its nine nineteen. Frances hears that she should never hedge her bets. Frances felst her heart string twang hyesterday evening but she wasn’t sure where it was coming from. Frances has this problem, she thinks all love is seduction. frances wondders about love because of her belly, Frances feels her belly is the wrong diagnosis for bieng in love. Frances lay in bedd laying on her ggright wide, but she thougght she could detect theat it could have been Terry.

Frances condisers entering a competition on an organic vegetable site. The questions are too hard but the prize is winning a meal in an Islington pub. Frances has just posted her letters. More visitors come round at eleven o’clock. Frances is smoking for Britain. Frances has chaine smoked a lot this morning. Frances listens to Six music, she gets a snag on her bum. Frances shirtfts her seat. She wants to go to the post office but she’ll have to wait until tomorrow. Frances can’t wait for all her packages. Fracnes is very bored. She’s got countdown till the time she has to have her flat in presentation mode. She’s got to wash up the rice dish from yesterdday’s supper. She’s got to tidy up the clothes from her sofa. Frances has to put the rubbish out and she has to staraighten the towels inthe bathroom. Francces is listening to radio talk about MacKowski10 who was a reader. Frances hears that he had to put on the act with drinking and swearing. He gave it up because it became phoney. frances listened to Dame Edna preduict that she would marry a film prducer. frances wonders whether Chris could be classed as a film producer. Frances thinks she could be in with a chance with George Clooney. Frances noted that Dchri s was an ageing rock DJ so he could be classed as a fimlm producer. Frances has been considerin the thlink with Terry and Chris, and then general relation of all DJs. Frances could marry a Dj jsut like her fantsy dad. frances is bored of her real one. Frances is at home looking forward to the drinks party but she doesn’t think chris is going to turn up. He mayt urn up after all, Frances never knows. Frances is goingto wewar heer halter neck this evening. She needs to go to boots to gbuy some tights. Frances hshould have bougght them yesterday but she didn’t want to carry them to the radio studio. Frances has to cosss the road to buy the tights, that’s all.

Frances ‘ lips are healing, that’s a good sign. Frances finggers the edges to check for breaddcrumbs. She’sll buy some vaseline when she goes to boots. frances Frances sings along to the radio. Hearsd a song on the radio. Frances has to smoke two more cigarettes. She needs to finish them off. Francces thinks about puppies. She wonders where she would find a leitter. Frances might have to go through a do g test to become an owner. Frances thinks about the crarpet. Morrissey is playing there is no such thing in life as normal. Frances checks her hotmail at the end of the hour.

Frances reseets her watch and computer by Accurist on the telephone. Frances is a second out but its closer than it was. Frances is on her last cigarette, she doen’t need to smoke! Frances

Frances is in Starbucks

Frances wanted to have the prawn sandwich, but Frances always gets ghungrier with a prawn sandwich. Someone dropped their change twice by Frances feet and the next man that came along ordered a prawn sandwich. Frances has got the lemon poppy seed muffin, otits more gbegetarian. Frances may go bak for a prawn sandwich, frances is hungry. Frances sits in a wooden seating area with solft lilt ba ba ba. Frances is y the arage again. Frances has ordered a mocha, its covfee with cocoa in. Frances has her legs crossed. She wonders what the man in the yellow te Shirt wants. there is a pay meter in view, and a van sthat says My Home is waiting to turn into the busy road of Fulham Palace. the traffic ins’t gid locked, tho there is movement in the street. Frances wants another prawn sandwich. She hasn’t touched the muffin. A man in a green car gets uou t beside Frances. He is in the road. There are three people wpeaking aSpainish language next to Frances. The man with the prawn sandwich got into a car by the pay meter but he didn’t get in, he seemed to be stopping. The car is a BMW and the man awas young and posh. Frances felt disprooved of by the man with the prawn sandwih, Frances said a subconscous sorry for being there. A bus Loads of Blackcurants advertisement goes past for Ribensa. Frnces is listening to a man that sounds like Sting. Frances’ muffin has got icing on it. It sins’t too abad. Frances eats the muffin by going round sthe sides. The edges are cliff hangers and she breaks them off. Frances goes back to get a prawn sandewich. The sandwich that she orirginally picked up was taken by the prawn sandwich man. Frances takes the one next to it. Frances sits down to eat it and she knows its a dispappointment. There’s no mayonnaise. Frances rabvages the sandwich by teething into the main body of the sandwich. Frances leaves large right andgle crusts. She hadn’t finished her muffin but she may have to go bak to it. Frances has let the cream on ther mocha melt down so that is level with the top of the cup. The three in the window leave. Two girls and a man sipping his setraw as he takes ihis cup back out. Frances was offered a macchiato. she tries the mocha. Frances sips the mocha and its just like hwarm chococolate. frances sees a man with a cool bald head parked in a white car outside. AThe BMSW has gone and itn its place a citreo. The driver gets aout and seems to be btalking to the man in the white car. THe car door is open and the y talk across the open road at each other but without looking over very much. The man in thw hte car is reading anewspaper. The Citreon man goes round the corner out of sight and the man in the white car has got his elbow sticking out of the driver’s seat. He is resting it. A girl with a blue stripy top goes past with bar shoulders, a verst shape. Frances was just oberving a man in a linene suite with his back to her. Frances drew a sip but hwen thshe put the mocha back she spilt the mocha on the table, leaving a grail along the table , over her muffin, ont the serviette of the prwn plate and a drool down the side of the cup. The cup ohis half empty oso it must have been some kind of jerk. Frances thinks this is unuasual. Someon dcalled Jerry walks in with an employment neclace. He talks to the man with the linene jacket who is talking to a youg glamorous girl with Italian hair and sunglasses and a black handbag. She is wearing mules and is mostly in beige cream pin. Jrerey goes back to the bar to choose some refreshment and he has a blue tie. He is obscured by the pillar and it turns out he isn’t in an employment eneclace but the tie looks like one from the back of his shirt because it sin’t tucke in. The man from the cietroe n is back again. He has gone to the passenger side of the car of the newspaper reader with heis arm resting. he has lit acigarette, practically on the forecourt of the petrol station. The man has a cup of something in a china mug that he has placed on the roof of the crar. The mug has spots on. The man has swumg open the passenger door and is standing in the axis of the door. The man called Jerry is still being interested by the older man in the linen suite. Frances swills her mocha that is quite dold. The man smoking with coffe has now sat down in the white car man’s passenger seat. An advert for Mauritius goes past on a 295. Thery’re talking about generals and Frances burps. Frances looks at the italian haired girl who is smiling. Theyr’e talking about a membership thing. Jerry has one hand in his right bposcket. he is being the younger person with an intent iexpression. He is quite attractive, more htan quite attractive, just the sort of person to employt. The girl with Italian hair smiles at Frances , anhd Jerry is in her line of fire. The automatic doors swing oopen by the entrance but nobody comes in. There is a sticker that says Power ASSISTED DOOR. Ther’s a TMobile Hotspot sticker as well. Fances would like to be able to pertate her hot spot connection. She looks across atsomeone run itno Cafe Creme. Frances looks at the wall decoration, there are swatches of wallpaper. Frances has been dreaming of the cottage, thinking she may put swatches of wallpaper in some of the rooms. Frances has already burped to finish ther meal but she has another swill. The splash of her mocha didn’t go on the keyboard. the man in the linen jacket looks very agreeable. He is about forty with an interested face. Frances imagines she could know someone with an interested face . Frances looks at a graffiti sposter that says Linus Loves. Frances looks at the writing that says Shell. The price for unleaded litre is 91.9 and diesel is 94.9. there is a wicker basket flll of coffee grounds. The writing looks like it says Used cofee grounds. Frances wonders what they’re for. thre’s a sticker gthat says something about garden. They must be rofr fertilising. Frances would never have thought this was possible of prermissable. Frances wonders if the grounds are mosit or dried, probably moiset. The bags are sealed in aluminium sytle wrapping. a man in a yellow polo shirt goes past with some shppoing in a bag. A woman inside has a collared sleevelses shirt that says Roxy. Jerry is scratching his belet at the back. He rests his hand on the back of his belt. when she stops itching. He sticks two fingers in as if hs is touch ing ucutcking in his shirt, he does the same with his thumb. The linen pair go off and they all walk out to gether with gerry. Frances sees a Serco van go past followed by a yellow van that has to stop at the traffic lights. theyr’e outside now and they cross behind the man in th whtiete car, along the pavement next to shell. They’re walking very slowly and iamicable. Frances looks at the barred off section to the Private sign above th stairs leading down to a Coffee toned wall. The bgate at the top of the stairs is like a baby pen. Frances bfeels a breeze of air conditioning on her neck. an alamr clock fro atimeer goes off. There’s a girl in a denim skirt that sighs as she takes a leaflet form the bar. She’s got student books and a brown leather bag that isn’t a stachel. the girl in the sleevelsess shirt that says Roxy at the back sits where the linen man sat and she stands up to collect her coffee. she uts sugar in while she is standing at the bar bna mixes it with a wooden spatchelor. She puts chocolate sprinkle ontop. The girl with the frayed denim skirt sits down twith her back to Frances and she is facing in the same way to frances but slightly more to the right. Frances sees a girl go out in a greenystripy top. A talkl handsome man comes in, he is a young man who puzzles at the board. The Roxy top has received her econd drink. She adds more spirnkles to her first and then she walks out the shop. She has got a drink for someone else. A large refrigerated van with scraped off writing turns into the road. al l the colour has ome off. Frances looks at the signs that says Humps for 120 yards. It is attached to a lamppost by the Hertz building with blue railing. a man in a camouflage top has come to put sugar in his coffee, form the dispenser, not from a satchet. Frances sees him with his keys in his left hand. He ogoes out with Brzaxilian hair. He turns round when he gets outside and changes direction. he isn’t comeing in again but he has gone to get something. 11 12

Frances wonders about the significance of having waffle paving stones with awarts on them. Frances is referringg to the pedestrian crossing. She doesn’t like standing on the are a for blind people or the area to stop people from slipping. Frances prefers to stand to the side if there’s room to doso. Frances swa a girl with a stripy top when she came out of Starbucks. Frances goes home and sniffs the spray of the Miss Dior odour that she squirted on her way out. Frances has resolved to give up smoking. The day is quite hot and it can’t be good for her. Frances is bored, so how long can it last? Frances has bought her tights from boots along with some Aloe Vera Vaseline. the cursor goes to page numbr forty one. Frances delves into her bag, though she doesn’t delve, that’s a Jane expression. frances retrieves her doggy bag poppy seed bun from her bag along with the pot of vaseline. Frances applies the vaseline with two dpips onto the surface. frances only needed to do one scoop. Frances wonders if she’s solved the Starbucks bymystery by bieng in possession of petroleum jelly in the coffee shop. Frances istempted to tune int o the radio to find out. Frances wonders if the stripy top mens anything to the stars of Starbucks, whether she compliments the flag of association. Frances could be very bored without cigarettes. Frances nhears a siren, she keeps wanting to know what the distinctions are.

Frances used to swear at ttarbucks for the articles whe was to write. Frances ouwould talk blindly abut the man in the stripey top or the man coming and going with his sugar,and the girl with the bag that wasn’t a satcehel and the colour of the wall. s Frances was taunted by the place she had to reach, and Frances has finally given itntoit. Frances has finally begun writing about bland common lplace odccurences. Seh never tought wseh would. frances sets involunatary trails of how she speaks and she has to live up to them. Frances is allowed throught he pass of twin peaks with promises in writing. Does Frances makes promises with the things that sehe sees every day? Frances observes without being involved. Frances didn’t really smile ain any sort of way. Frances creeps up on her improvement but she doesn’t smile on the way. frances approaches her next task in all seriousnes and calcultes what a smile would do to aher anyway. Frances has cut her third finger nail wawkwardly, she shuod file it of.f.

Frances would describe everything she does to some value for export. What chan she exchange with where she is? Frances is at home listening for caravan. Frances would be set for a martathon man. How can a million people be observed if they aren’t going at the same pace? frances is sedentary for all the goodness of grace. Frances didn’t stop when the man said stop, Frances is just as fast, even as she sits pup. What is frances accelerating past? frances thinks about turning on Radio 1 and she presses the button. She presses off before it has tned in, so what does this mean? Frances is a bit indecisive. Frances is amaxed by her body clock, its twenty past wtwelve and she’s almost leaking. What kind of signal controls frances to her catch twenty two and what was it supposed to be meaning? Frances doesn’t know who invetnted clangers and definers of illiteracy, but Frances confesses she must be illiterate for she is the personality. Who can describe their own destruction apart from being aware tof the description. Frances is managed by various conditions, she can only describe the symptoms. Although amusement is found in what Frances does, there isn’t. Although oedipal rings are funny, they aren’t. Although Frances is a bag of onions, she isn’t. Frances isn’t what she is, isn’t.

Frances may become a new person some day, she may find a way out. frances will have to remain captured. frances is dying for a cigarette, not much she but she could deny herself. Frances could mentally cuause herself some anguish to describe it as something else. Does Frances want dcigarettes. Does Frances want to speak to somebody else? does Frances wnat to be idistracted, does Frances want to pretends what she wants? Does Frances want to defend the game of a plover? What is the bird doing? Frances could find some purpose in a living object, she could take up bird watching. frances would have to study something close to find the excuse. As it is, frances is avariant. Frances would need an obsession to kick up and kick off the dust of clanger obsession. Frances doesn’t find any answer on the radio apart from they’re trying to help with some sort of reminding.

frances thinks of Mr Bean and what he needs to be reminded of. Frances allows herself to be reminded of her biggest problem. Francesthinks about Tanya an awful lot. Frances thought she was amusing. Frances hankers after being sent up, she could be performing. Frances totally sober and lost for thought. She could follow the path of somewhere fraught, she could be assoicating. Frances wonders what she is supposed to represent, Frances doens’t even have to pay the rent.

Frances doesn’t have a start or a stop to anything she does, she doens’t have intervals. So waht? Frances doesn’t know how to live, she’s tied by theme tunes ofn the radio because she has nobody to talk to. Frances finds company exhausting. Frances prefers her own frustration. Frances could paitnt a portrait of somebody in the mirro.r Frances could develop her sense of proportion. Frances thinks she

Frances had to leave the dcoffee shop because the girl with the bag that wasn’t a satchel was obscuring her view. Frances was instantly opposed to the frayed denim skirt because she waa s attracted. frances fins offencse when she is with someone opposite her age. Frances doesn’t understandi t. Frances is unha\ppy with the way she does things but doesn’t kno0w how else to do them. frances has to do thing s the way she does them beause that’s where she fits in. There could be no right way to do things, but that is a right way in titself. Frances isn’t moreosely hunhappy, she is just aware of pher personality.l Frances knows she is going to drop something , she drops it. Frances knows she is going to cop it, she scops it. Frances knows she’ll probably leave at the wrong time, she might even hope she doesn’t Frances wanders where the stripey t shirt goes, Frances is stripey. Frances doesn’t now what stripey means if she’s in stars, she thinks they match. frances doesn’t realise the haphazard way that she comes and goes, she’s just a patch. Frances is amusing and sad to watch, she can’t watch. Frances tries to set her clock but it has nothing to do with it. Frances blood vessels the on button, it will go on. Frances jumps when she stands up, she’s standing up. Frances trieds to be smooth, she knowcks something over. Frances trieds to improve, she has a low threshold. What is Frances improving from isf she is to move on? Frances has nowhere to reacch, she’s gone beyond. Frances is quite rproud of her eccentric pond. It means nothing to her except reference to pyre. Frances has been everywhere like a cheap suit, Frances ehars this prhrase and thinks that’s cute. Frances gets frustrated in the day, she’ll rub it out and find her way. Frances could watch all she likes but she’d only be copying. frances doesn’t have her own sense of timing. Frances has learnt what that means, what this means to being left behind, and francesis proud of being left behind. Frances sdoesn’t actually like all the anxiety of being highlyy hung in the stardust of wibble wobble. frances would prefer to subtly stomp, she doesn’t actually stomp, she kind of romps. Frances proceeds down the street with her own defieant face. frances wonders if she’ll feel vulnerable enought hont to look into people’s faces, but frances saw a program about a genius called Evelyn Waugh. Ever since then frances doesn’t have such a problem. She couldd have claimed that paranoia as her own if she’d settled that it was there. Frances doesn’t actually have any paranoias, they only last the time that is of most harm. Frances could be frightened by a butterfly and wak to the bomb, fFrances and the silence of the lambs. France s appreciates ofdd dangers that they may appeal to her. Tehye may be way out, out of reach from the normal fare. Frances takes a free ride beyond know ing anybody. Frances is frustrated by worshipping somebody. Frances sees no object in sitting and reaching and picking and preaching, she has nowhere in fact. Frances is as fluid as her accusation stack.

The tower of cups are dispensed with moments. Frances doesn’t feel anything during the day except the needy part of what she expects to pay. Frances expects to leak at some point, she expects to spill and ntoot to be able to light the gas. She expects to encoutner a problem at thepost office, she expects thimngs she woulddn’t have dreamed of. it is only in the past year or so that frances has begun to notice any patterns. Before Frances wouldn’t pattern exactions, she’d leak when she felt and just generally worry. Frances has managed to split her worries into predictable forms of disappointments. frances is able to watch the television with words like necessary cues. Frances appreciates what the media are trying to say to her in a way that she wounldn’t have absorbed a year ago. frances responsds to agreeing with peresecution, to give it some satisfaction of coordination. If the accusation is wrong the peresecution might and might not alst, depending on the frustration. If the accusation is wrong, it is wrong footed, if it is right, it is right. Francces has to swait and see wayhat she may and what she might. frances might have an inviatation that she wants to go to. She may believe she knows somebody after the alarm. Frances may be pressing on the alarm in an incurable way, Frances wknows where the button its.

If its the worong button, Frances can see it, if the button doesn’t exist, Frances invents it. Frances likes to know where to argue even if there’s never an ending. Frances could spend forever in going for exemption. Frances always goes the windy way because she’s banished. Frances respects the rights of way to all and every sundry. Frances can’t go anywhere. Frances thinkss she’s at the point of despair, but its just ordinary. Frances doesn’t expect to lose tolerance of despari, she’s made her home there. Why can’t Frances see the stop? Frances kind of sees it but not properly. frances is tired of daily stop and startery, she fucking well will eat that and she will fucking carry on with that. Frances doesn’t thinks there’s anypoint in making delivberate attempt in soothing fat, she’ll just fuck uit up and drop it. Frances believes she has doen more than she deserves, but Frances preserves her pain in daily no gain. Frances doens’t believe she should have to ive with frustrations about going to live. frances is signed on to the bottom line of not there, dong! The number is twentyy one precisely

Frances thought she spoke English but this language is double dutch. Frances could in fact speak double diutch if she let her good side improvise eonough. Frances could readd the signs like a blind woman ‘s excuse that she has to see. As it is, frances likes to crane. Frances cranes her eyes around corners and into the tobacconist, cranes her wswivel to see to the alley that it is there, cranes not to crane at the children who don’t fight normally beut whonder when they can permit to dare. They dare not in France psresence, except to Cranein her absence. The children can be naughty wen frances is around, it can be concluded there are dogs in the ground. Frances influences all ages to think about crane, another word for clanger and clinger. Frances prefers to cling to things she has to understand. frances has to look so she can tatke her past into her book. frances has to pick up what she sees from where it was, Frances may rest it in a book of counselling burble. Frances can’t helpe the pace at what she sees, she is the pace. Frances is the face of what she believes, she is the trace. Frances is useful to the newsstands lilke a springwatch gatherer with peaky observations. Frances doesn’ see the hornbill in her garden, Frances sees the horn and the bill.

Frances rang the applause store to ask them for tickets13 and the woman said Ah, ifn fact she was a girl. frances said she was on her own and the woman went Ah. frances would let it roll but that would form a bumpy horn. Frances wronte an email back and said so what if she had no friends? Frances could hbe hampered down by the floor amanager and the email manager but France has a higher ipurpose in life to attend to Terry ‘s side. frances give s up on the child bride and the bride and the daughter and the father. Frances iss happy to struggle into a strong tide, no matter what she does. frances has to slice against the confirmed opinion that she is unable to watch anything without being infected. frances is quite capable of smoking unrptecte. d Frances doesnt want to put any effort into it, she’d only come across as being frustrated. Frances goes naturally and blithely to the tune of blithely cum swarthily. Frances waltzed out of the show yesterday with her hips swinging, but its not as if she meant them.

Frances enjoys being the underdog, its part of her grace. Frances stands clear behind a man who steps back, frances has to budge her feet so the man can cough14 . Frances walks into space with an unsuspecting eye. Frances retreats to insepct what she got. Frances so doesn’t enjoy smoking, but look what she’s got to cope with. She’ll have to get throught hat smoke, she’ll have to live. Frances can grow to become quite absorbed in her standoffishness. Frances is aftraid of being possessed of vlove from the wrong person and the right person is hard to find. Frances gets a fly on her ankle, she waves it off by kicking her foot. Frances decides to ring comic relief. She oesn’t get an answer though she rings for twenty. Frances iring s again and leafves a message for Shani. Frances rings Beverly from office angels but she is out of the office. They’ll let Beverly know Frances rang because she has nher number.

Frances sits and sees the fly go apast again. its a small one. frances never did track ddown the fly in the bathroom, maybeits a fly baby. Frances feels the fly on her toe, she looks forwrd on her shins to see where it has gone. Frances bought five tderner tights in boots today. She still have lumps on f wax on her legs. Frances rings the other office angels, she feels a fly on her leg but its not there. Frances thinks about going to have a shower but she thinks she’ll have one later. Frances has to wait for the radio show to star, t but she’s got an hour and a hlf. Frances checked dawn french onthe itnernet but her show has been and gone. Frances awatned to go and watch the whow and to get dawn’s autograph. frances thoughtthe posters in the underground were just for her, Frances laughed at the seriousness. Frances thinks she hs a sense of humour for comic relief, good grief. Frances is soldiering through her cigarettes like one with ten problems, smokingbets. Frances could order ther taxi forlater. Fracnes is awatching the timet ick by veryslowly. Fracnes thinks there’s been a misunderstanding about the party. Frances thinks that Chris won’t be allowed to go ieven if he does want to. Frances can only hope that someone else is preventing her from hetelling a funnyjoke. Frances could go roundto the area where he lves, somewerhe in London. Frances insects her shoes for ereasons why she hasn’t succeeded. There’s a blob of fluff and there’s some grit and a seed on the sole. Frances muses that these could be the reasons that she lives on the pole. frances has seen two flies hovering around ehr shoe.s They must be the cause. frances couldd find out what prevents her soul from heaving shores. Frances knows she’s in love, she just doesn’t go hom.e Frances has grease spots all over her person. Frances has no one to ting and no one to bring. frances isjust desperate. Frances thinks she’ll find someoneto talk tolater and that whe’ll bprobably buy cigarettes instead of a paper.

Frances decide d to have ashower. She’s back in place on her seat with her cigarettes and the radio. Frances is in her halterneck with heer hari tied up. Frances looks okay althought she’s got very smudged eyeliner and mascara. Frances has put her dangly earrings on. She’s in her tutu. The length is a bit funny, it’s just below the knee. Frances isn;t going to change htaht snywhay.

Frances hs been sitting hnesxt door to her doggie bag all day. She wants to etat the poppy seed and lemon muffin that she put in her gabag. Frances has peeled down the fairy cake wrapper an ed she’s going to see fif she’s got persmission to eat it. The top is all nice anc crunch from going stale. Frances isn’t that hungry but she’s peckish enought o demoishsit.

Frances gets a phone call from Sullivan thomas to inform her that someon’e’s interested! Frances tells her how much the elease extension is nad hse ring jan back to tell her that the ground rent is only five pounds per annum. Frances thinks about telephonin back to say that the gbuilding is in Council Tax category C. Frances only has to pay 800pounds per myear. Theyr’re tasting something on the radio, ther’s a lifeve presentation. Frances hears that Rebecca has just ahad an ice cream. frances wants an ice ceream. Frances has managed to leave her poppy seed muffin, she’ll have to restrain her self until the canapes. Frances is looking forwards to the cocktail party. Frances has her lap top on her tray on her knee. Frances is liestening to the raidio. It was a choc ice. Mr Evans only bought six choc ices when there are eight people. He’s not going to be nmr nice guy any more. Frances thinks she’d like ac ar.

Frances thinks about the film of sport frelief and how she sat in the rubbish dump. Frances was a kind o f voyeur on the journey, she popped up. Frances wonders hwre she got the roses from, how she managed to get them to India. Frances wonders what she paid for them, how much could they have been? where were they from? the roses were very beautiful. Frances cried when she watched the television program15 , wshe thought she got them from the little boy, that says for the little boy. Frances cope when there’s absolutely nothing about. she oenes’nt know how to quantifuy things when everyone else has persepective. Frances doens’t really now the rules of cricket. Frances could be non existant. the feet are a reflection of the body. The woman is describing why it is good to have your shoes and socks of f in the park. Barefoot in the park. The woman sounds like she is bluffing as an expert because everybody has heard this before. However, people like hearing what they know. the big toe represents the head, the pituary gland and the neck. She’s a reflectxologist. The ball of the foot is the lung. The instep is the digestive area. Along the inside of the foot is the spinee. The heel is the pelvic region. why doe these peostitions reflect huge parts of the anatomy? Discovered by Eurnice Ingham who was a physio. The woman is called Pippa. Can cure hayfever and even fertility. Frances feels a tingle on her right hand on the V a pzex with her first finger, her index finger, on the back of her hand. She doen’st knwo what that means. Frances gets a needsle on her shoulder. A billion bottles of wine in Europe are being turned into antiseptic, the huge surplus is due to the rest of the world ‘s sines. The New World have changed their labels so people can understand them. Homogenisation? Villages vrary in quality. Califrnia ahs an enormous marketing budget. Australia has two billion litres they can’t sell. There are too many vineyards . Heaveily subsideised vineyeards. Califiornia don’t have prob with disiversification. They can’ plant asparagus or peaches instead. The bordeaux aperople are peasants and they don’t know how to sell. Send back the wine if the bottle is from a different year than a menu.

Frances sticks to her word. France s hopes she has left the odd path. The raio woman’s minute contestant had to name ten dogs. The dulux do,g, socobie doo, Buster, The churchill dog, the fox and the hound, Gnasher, Scottie, 101 dalmations, Chris is going ihom in his car. Frances doesn’t hink he’s going to be there. Frances looks out of the window at the roof of the pub, she’s listening to dream, dream dream. Frances squashes a bug on the sofa with her index finger. Chris is doing the harmony but not like a chorister. The froof of Frances’ hose is upstairs with a satellite dish. Frances thinks about loggin onto her email. Frances listens to the news at six o’clock but she will have forgotten it after it is over. Frances heeds to put some deodroant on.

Frances goes next door to put her tights on. She tries three pairs on. Her sparkly ones make her angkels look fat and the roses ones look awkward. Frances tries her esmelly shoes on and they dont’ look so bad. Frances resorts to weraing her flip flops, they will have to cope with the toe part with her tights. Frances has just eaten a peach. Frances hasn’t worn her flip flops this year. Frances thinks they’d like an outing. Frances iss sounding like Jane. Frances listens to someon e being faded out on the radio, he’s just sold some thing. frances pics a bogie and puts it on the cushion. Frances onis on page forty eight. Frances could arrange the removals men. Frances hopes the sale witll tgo through. Frances could buy lots more pairs of tights. Frances is looking forward to moving out. Frances thinks about hotels rooms and the phoen ringing. Frances leaves the phone to ring out. Frances

Left foot for left side. two necks, left and right. Face is the top of the to. Brain is the very top of your toe. big toe. Pituatury on middle of underside. Fertility between heel and ankle bone, inside is uterus, outside ist he ovary or willy. Rub underside of toes an top of ball of foot. CSinuses, ears eyes and eustacian tubes.

Frances said burrowed and offended somebody. Frances had trouble in disguising, oh look he’s gay. Frances did make some friends but then she unmade thenm by leeching. Frances confessed to one girl that she wasn’t good at converstation. Frances means one man. Frances told one girl that London was a disaster and theat she was movin g to Scotland. Frances pulled the wrong faces when the camera man came and watched her with the magician. Frances put on her wrinkles and dropped her jaw to look surprised. The man was letting her hold ca card. Frances started off with a pink drink and she tried a sip of something very sweet but a little sickly. Frances would have drunk it if its was Martini, but Frances was told it probably didn’t have Martini. Frances liked the shape of the sweet cocktail, in a proper cocktail glass. Frances doesn’t like the weight of gtumblers. Frances did like the first man she talked to with his friend but Frances knew she wouldn’t be able to stay long with them. frances didn’t want to stay with them all night but she wanted to have someone to morve onto. Frances found her self increasingly babandoned as she grew bolder with telling people whow she’d sold eher flat. Frances started pattering up that she was moving to scotland that she wasn’t doing anythigna nd that she was unemployed. Frances doled out the information when at first it has d been a revelation. Did you do that and clever you are Frances’ leads to being true. Frances was absolutely truthful about what she said about the things she did, she hardly did anything! Frances got a tickle in her throat at the start of the evening but she swalleowed it down. Frances was grateful for people to talk to her but she hung around. Frances didn’t find out about wht people were doing because she didn’t want to be nosy. This is a form of vgiving. At leas t people can say did you get her too? Frances had a lemonade after her first drink. Then she went back to a beer with vodka and a lime in the clink. Frances was amaxzed by the magician but she didn’t keep his fork. Frances left it on the temple, it was all skewed. Frances blew the fork and all the prongs splayed. Frances chose the ten of clubs, she has it in her bag. Frances checks in her bag but she seems to have lost it. frances kept being asked if the she like d the shop, Frances said it was out of date. Frances didn’t like the chandeliers. Frances stood under one of the chandeliers when a nother man pointed to them. Frances met a committe e member who was very high class. Frances didn’t talk to him long but he was not a task. The committe nmember was handsome and dashing adn just like the people should be when frances is party bashing. Frances is impressed by some orts of people that have vivid attention and take notice of Frances. That’s all frances wants, for someone to know about her in a charming way. Frances was most taken by the Mexican who talked about the expense of mobile phone calls. he was a journalist for ten magazines. he had a particularly interested face and his name was Gabriel. He is also an artist. Frances eaves dropped on his conversation twith jason, but she didn’t catch much. Frances was assured by watching jason’s temeperature drop, they all went out in a troop for a cigarette and Frances smoked Gabriel’s Gauloise. They stubbed them out in the road and ruminated how quiet it was. Frances liked the look of howard who kept winking at her like a gay man should. Frances thinks Howard was spelt Howerd from the wayy it was asaid. Frances met Ronnie and his boyfirend afther the first two men she met at theparty. Ronnie was pretty interesting and he may have been from Sweden. Frances talked about herself to Ronnie and Frances hung areound the same area by the table. frances was starting to behave oliek e a princess because she was shaking epoeople’s hands as they came round. Was iFrances visiting an hospital full of patients? Frances didnt’ think thei s at the tiem but she looked like whe was fishing for some kind of line. Frances didn’t thinks he’s d bury a ticket at the start, but in the edn she did buy one. Frances didn’t realise she could bpay be y credit card. Frances got back home and her file wouldn’t back up. Frances realised it was time to leave when three people had asked her werhere the toilets where. Frances could no longer pretend that she was amazed to be there. frances wasn’t amazed byut when he looked up she couldn’t talk straight. frances talked to a School teacher of French but she said she was bad at conversation. Frances said role play was good but that would need a language lab. The drinks cabinet was very generous. After two drinks Frances went to get her own. She was standing by the table when the waitress dropped the tray. Frances waited for another minute and then more drinks had been made up. Frances knew that the venue changed by year. Frances thinks about the thrird couple she met after she had talked to the group with the girl in it when she explained about toging to the shop with her boss to point out what from what. Frances was given understanding looks by a tal man in a hat. frances was going to say he oul d bfind whoever it was because he was tall, but she didn’t do that. Frances found herself in the room of corsages at the end of the party. They were only fifteen pouinds and Frances wondered if she’d ever go and buy one. Frances imagined a trauma happening in the china shop because of the broken glass. Frances wondered if she had a breakdwon in the room next to the silver. Frances probably shopped till she dropped in the shop. frances kept saying it was out of date. Frances would have to concede that she love s the taste to get back to her shopping haste. Frances probably went bankrupt among other things at the shop. Frances wonders who she was shen she went shopping and who she was swith. Frances said she hated conversationas about wardrobe when she was with people talking about black tie. thank goodneess noone is in black tie, the man said. fracnes referred to herself sying she alaways got the dress wrong. Frances said she made a huffge effort to one person. It didn’t sound that wounded. Frances regretted introducing herself to one couple because she’d just talkded to the Committee nmember and was giving encouragement for fleeting seconds that turned to amazed agaisnt sgays. Frances is amazed against gays, she’s fine with them. Frances looks into their eyes and sees they’re kinky or they’re not. Frances doesn’t take long to dispute what she’s not, frances isn’t joking. Frances didn’t expect to see any gays when she went tot he party. frances thought silly me, of course there are. Frances didn’t thinks illy me, she’s just writing it here. Frances was honest to god in some ways, she just felt occasionally insincere. Frances just found it useful to be standing with someone but she could only really talk about the room’s architecture with the natural daylight and about when going on holiday questions. Frances didn’t want to find herself talking to someone completely terriffic. Frances only minutely considered haveing dinner afterwards. frances siad she thought the drinks party aws like temping. Frances did mediocre frowning. She didn’t frown all the time but she didn’t laugh much. Frances enjoyed the prawns nd she ate them with sauce. On one of the trays she dripped the sauce in dots on their way.

Frances said people in the conservatives ruled when people lived in burrows. Frances said that people came out now there were more cofee shops. The very friendly man from Bournemouth said he looked hurt with his face. it dropped about ta mile in conversation. Frances tried to encourage him saying Bournemout was better than Plumouth or Brighton, she should have asked him about hove. Frances didn’t mention southampton, it wasn’t on her mind. Frances said Brighton and cities were too large for the seafront. Brournemouth reminded Frances of her ninety two year old policeman, but she didn’t say so. That man had to go and get a drink because there wasn’t enough alcohol in this drink. He’d met the schoolteacher so it was left to the school teacher. Frances said she wasn’t good at converstion, she’s already said that.

When they were going for a cigarette they paused by the table by the door where there were place figureines that the man at the benginning said he liked. Frances pointed this out to Gabriel but the boys were black so Frances said they looked Christamassy. Why should Frances like cameras. Frances thinks about the hancesof someone seeing her as a beauty queen in the social pages. Fracnes is back at home wondering how the party would be useful. she only ot the magician’s card. Frances picks soem food from her hair. Frances doens’t think she’ll be spotted by Chris in Heat or a raffle ticket. The prizes are a three night chateau break in Normandy, a £1,000 hamper of luxury cosmetics, an original print by Paul Robinson, a set of four late 19th centruy photographs, two pairs of cufflins by Georg Jensen. Frances sits at home and imageines she’s won something. When frances ws outside with Howerd and Gabriel and Jason and a sweet chirpy one that talked about auction bidding, Howerd said he’d wom aby bidding. He’s d bid for a shopping tirip in Harvey Nicks with Joanna Lumley. Frances tried not gto give Howerd a look of are you going to give me one, Howerd had five tickets. Frances wouldn’t have taken it anyway, and Howerd was too much of a person to consider the look as tracherous thinking. Frances enjoyed being in the company of men who liked bidding. Frances said where was the auction because they said there had been drinking Frances heard that it ws not at Sothebys but at Christies. Frances has to see to her back up plan. Frances fiddles d with her files oearlier on this evenings and deleted a history of backup files. Frances read a message that said she would need 6 gig for backup to succed and she’s only got 1.5. frances is relieved the backup has been successful after all, but it has interrupted her train of thought.

Frances enjoyed traipsing behind Gabriel and Howerd back to where they baegan, but nothing much happened then. They went to talk to someone. Frances didn’t mind standin g on her own for a while, she’s getting back to the bit where she was by the bar. Fancess aw the man at the beginning by the bar and knew shesouldn’t approach him even htough he didnt properly mind her, that came when she said helo again. Frances was by the bar and when the first man had gone to the loo after being directed by Frances, she had a two minute silence with a boring conversation with this friend. Frances sicked out her pat about Scotland and then she asked him. He said he was a brand consultant and Frances said Logos. he said more than that and Frances said the whole thing. He said he didn’t like being ginger, but thtat’s what Frances thought Frances didn’t think he looked happy talking to her because sh’e’d interrupted a good conversation. Frances thinks back to when she introduced herself to Howerd and Gabriel, Gab Howerd was looking at his watch. He turned out to mbe more interesting thatn the first man who Frances went back to. Frances shouldn’t have gone back to the first. man.

At one point frances justa te prawns. Frances spent most her time by the china vase that had a lid. it could have been moredern porcelien but frances agreed with the man that said it cost too mcuh and frances suggested the style it was in had the quality of a cheap tray. Frances didn’t think much of the plates. Frances stood by the table in the middle that had a nother vase on it. There were stacks of eats on perspex coloured trays. Frances feels she should describe the party as a whole. The first man didn’t really mind frances it was only at the dedn. Frances didn’t spend too much time on her own. As she was saying before she went into the caverns with the silver and looked at the corsages. Frances wanted to scab a cigarette from somebody but she didn’t. Frances

Friday 9th June

Whenthe first man went to the loo, his friend had recently said the last drinks was at Adam House. frances doesn’t like Adam ouse because she got a fright there.16 The first man incidentally was a fitness trainer. Frances won’e t divulge what happened at adam house. But when the fitness trainer’s friend went to the loo, his friendasked Frances where the loo was. Frances idid a hitler asalute when she lengthened her arm to indicate the direction. Frances does peculiar things when she’s at parties. Don’t tell Frances that she did a salute because she’d get quite upset. Frances isn’t always ofwaare of what she odoes. Frances spoke to the friend tha t said it was too late to buy a raffle ticket. frances decided to buy a raffle ticket and she got number 347.

at the point when Frances told the girl that her life in london had been a disaster, the girl said did Frances have any friends with HIV. Frances said no and then the girl said she had hayfever. Frances saidWHat? Frances thought she said she had AIDS. There werent’ many girls in the room, only the women from THT. Frances liked the look of two woman who were talking to each other but she was about to introduce herself to Gabriel and Howerd. Frances liked the chirpy autctioneer that talked about dogs. His dodg and someone else’s dog had recently made friends, it was love at first sigth and they didn’t even bark. Frances agreed that dogs were tgood to taket o the park. They are good ice breakers, and the man’s friend borrowed his friend’s wolfhound to take to Hyde park . Frances said small dogs were good in London. He said his dog was only knee high. Gabriel adn the auctioneer said how hot it was and that Frances said that they could take their jackets off. Gabriel said he was lookin g foreward to taking his jacktet off after the party. frances didn’t say she didn’t feel ho.t. Frances was in a summer dress.Frances felt tlike the pretties t girl there apart from the rgirl who said she didn’t have AIDS. Frances felt relieved. She felt quite eccentric because she went about talking to people saying hello I’m Frances. Frances shouldn’t have done the salute. She’s done this before, but sometimes she is unaware.

Frances wandered round the party throught the corsages and the plates. frances preferred the people at the end of the party. She wondered if she should go. Frances looked at ther watch and it was a quarter to ten. frances took her glass to the room with the black putti place holders and she paused about thinking who tlo talk to next but after the salute Fraces felt she should go. Frances didn’t realise she ‘d done it at this point, it was only later with reflection that she realised. frances put her glass down on the round talble and decided to leave the party. She went out in her flip flops. Frances walkied todown the street slowly. She was followed by someone behind who also walked slowsly. Frances didn’t mind. She got tot he end of the road and saw some builders who must have thought she looked like Marilyn Monrowe. Frances caught the bus outside the Drochester and she sat on one of the high setats next to a n agreeable looking girl. FWhen Frances got off the bus the girl changed seats to one that was lower down. there waws a green man when frances reached the crossing, she thought it was good luck. frances had thought about doing a pub crawl by the Dorchester but she resisted. She had to get back. Frances spent fourteen pounds aon a taxi on the way there but the number 74 took her straight home. Frances sat on the bus rememberingg how she could have been jande, frances thought I’m Jane, I’m jane for a while when the bus went down earl’s Court. Frances knew she shouldn’t think that. Frances isrelated to jane. Frances has a coughingg fit.

The draw was between ten and ten fifteen. When Frances got home she looked forward to receiving a winning telephone call. Frances is glad she didn’t go to the loo when she was at the party. Frances was uqutite restrained and didn’t drink too much.

Frances never saw Christ when she was at the party. He didn’t turn up. Frances blushed at the beginning of the party, when was he going to show up? Frances was glad to find the personal trainer to talk to. Frances asked him if he talked to his clientson the treadmill. She wantedt o know if he gave them verbal coaching when they were movingg. he said hyes he did. Frances restubs her cigarette out. frances liked the mini baguettes, she thought they had acaviar on them. frances ate one eat that looked like a china egg, but it wa s quail. The eggs had been dyed different colours and they looked like sweets. Frances ate one of those but she isn’t sure wha t colour it was. It could have been a blue one. Frances chose it off a tiered stand that the waitress was handing outl. frances wonders why the fresh air outside doesn’t circulate in her flat. She is cdrinking coffee from her fair trade mug.

Frances described her past visit to the china shop when she was a secretary. Frances went with a fat man to choose Crhristmas presents. frances said she didn’t enjoy coming to the shop to choose other people’s christmas presents. Frances impleid the fat man was stupid. Frances went to the shop when she first arrived in london. Frances tolkd this to about four people. Frances thought it was better to shopw ith someone you know and like. Frances amazed several people by saying she was there on her own. many of the people had been asked by the committee but frances just came by sending an email to Nicky. Frances was congratulated by the terrific committee member who needed to go and get another drink. Frances was tolkd that it was hot in the room severl times.

Puzzle

Frances is in the pub, she has a Guinness. Frances is wating for the estate agents to go round her flat. tehyr’e dure at one and two o’clock. Frances is on the sofa opposite someone with a walking stick. Frances has view of the pool table and she can see a large percentage of the bar. Frances is relieve d to have been to the party, she hopes she has passed the test. Frances has hung up her party dress so it is on the rack as if she hasjn’t worn it. Frances is looking at Corona Extra, there’s a bin with a sloping roof that looks like a roadside gritter. It could be for recycling or something. Frances wonders what its for. there are two people palying snooker behind the man with the awalking stickl. the song is Before Too long. Frances is sitting next to a giraffe. She can see a man with a beard who is drinking some dark coloured ale that could be cocalcola from a pint pglass. His frind is at his wooden table in a black t shirt. they are adjacent to the Disabled Lavatory. There are people behind Frances that she can hear but can’t see. 17 the man with the beard is young, no tgrey hairs and he has just received his plate of potato wedges. The bus has paused outside the door to tlet the pedestrians cross the road. the black t shirt’s lunch ahas arrived, it looks like a sandwich. Frances has ordered a vegetable stack. there are people going past the snooker table window, only their heads acan bee seen. Frances is in the cool ari conditioningg, outside the weather is hot. Frances isn’t sweating, she wasn’t sweating when dshe came in. Frances is typing and the time is almost five to one. Frances could wait until one oc’clock before starting her Guinness. Frances doens’t want to be caught short for the loo and she’s got an hour and ten minutes to spend until she can go back. Frances thinks about phoning rhe radio station to ask for some sort of reuest this afternoon. She doubt she will. The guys by the disabled lavoatory have just moved table because the nooker players have finished their hgame. They take a table next to the corona bin that looks like a gritter. there are candles on the tables like last time, but theyr are not on Frances’ table

Frances tiedied her booksherlf a little bit fobefore she came out. Frances put all the plastic bags in one of the compartments, instead of having two compartments with plastic bags. Frances threw away the parker pen container. She straightedned the pope’s photograph and she keeps thinking about her salute she did yesterday. There are tennis players on the television, playing on a red serurface. Some women in red cross swiss t shirts with white crosses on them are clapping the game. A slow motion picture is being reeled from the last point. The men by the snooker table have started to play snooker and they have left their lunch. It doesn’t look that tasty, inf act the sandwich looks mostly bread. the bguy with the beard bends over the food table to eat some of his sandwich, a t the same time as the black ta shirt eats his sanwich. the beard man has potato wedges frances means, but when they canged tables they swapped siddes so the beard man’s place is facing away. the man with the walking sticck looks like he has mental health difficulties, he is generally a dorp out. He ihsits opposite Frances staring into space. Frances is buys typing. Frances can see the surveillance camera over the exit door of sainsbury’s, its a fire escape. The camera couldd belong to the newsapgents or to the supermarkets. Frances in’t sure. Frances can see the sign in the sindow. Not all of it is clear, but she knows the sign says Auto Trader. Frances could buy a car if she sells her flat. The eoeple arebehind frances are talking in a sociable way. One of them laughs. toya comes on the music. It turns out to be Rick Astley. Frances thinks about Rebecca doing her hula hoop dance on the radio show hesterday.

On the table to Frances’ rigght there’s a man in a greyish shirt with feint lines on it. He has grey hair and his collar is open with an employment neclace. Frances has a sip of her beer, she has towo sips ant two minutes past one. Frances is looking at the juke box. the man in the greyins shirt is sitting with one leg stretched out to the side, he has one knee under the table and one hand on his stretched out leg’s hip. The man opposite Frances with his walking stick is very thin when he stand sup to go. He looks in pain, and whe wears kakhi. He could be a visitor tot he hospital. Frances burger arrives. He left the room walking very slowly. 18

The snooker men have gone. They had quite a fast game and not much time for lunch. Frances has finished her vegetable stack ansd she needs the loo but won’t admit it. Frances is jiggling on the sofa while the vegetable stack goes down. Frances has only had an inch of beer. The need to go wanes. Frances ate her vegetable stack with her napkin down her front. It was too late for some dribbles that came from the mushroom. Frances asked for Ktchup but in the end he didn’t use it because shefeels she should stick to being off otomatoes. frances dosn’t really eat carrots wither but they were quite tasty in the vegetable snack. Frances would like a cigarette. Frances is watching the lights circulate the juke box, up and down. Frances has wind from her lungs. or her sotomach. Frances thinks about the sharing assage in this statement. Frances shut the stteet windows before she came out. Frances thinks its more important to keep out the noise. Frances eatches the barman clear away the snooker player’s plates from the table by the snooker btable. Frances rubs her eye and cheek. She hasn’t actually washed since yesterday afternoon. She still has the party’s faoundation on. Francesdidn’t thinkshe looked too bad to go to the newsagents, and after a while of beingg up the make up fits the day again. The manager goes over to the window blind and tries to raise it. It is hanging down about a foot in the window. It won’t go up to the top, he’s tried.

Frances thinks she’s stared down the barrel of a gun before. She regrets pulling faces at the camera yesterday. Francesthinks her excuse is too big. Frances was about to go to the length of telling Gabriel how to make a website. She startinged shouting bwhen she realised she was about to teach. Frances tried to yell that he should register with dot mac because he had a mac pc. Frances wouldn have like d to see Gabriel’s card. She didn’t ask for it. Frances heard he did oils and arcrylics and that he wanted to make a website. Frances doens’t hink hshe’d have much to say to chris if she saw him. Frances hears the sensible talk on the radio and she has nothing to say but shouting apoints about dot mac websites. Frances . The people behind Frances have gone, there’s no nose any more. Frances could have togne to the post office to collect her mail this morning but she didn’t. Fracnes will go tomorrow. Fraces has half an hour to gio till she can get back into her flat. Frances thinks about subscribingg to Ariel. She wants to find somewhere to live in Noting hill or she means primrose hill. Frances veered at one pointin the party, she just watned to gt to the table but she veered as if shewas drunk This is a form of posession that doesn’t happen to self contained paopele. frances thinks self containment is a funny way to describe the soul. rancesisl itestening to the Poer of Love. Frances thinks about sh e may have gatefcrashed a previous function, insisting she was on the guest list. frances was adamant that she was. Frances felt that shecouldn’t pass unless she was on the guest list, it was lucky that frances got in despite not being invited. Frances scratches her hair. Frances often has diverging passages. Was Frances sweating when she turned up at the door? How did rances get in or was she wturned away? A woman with flat ballet shoes comes to the sof a oppostie francces with a red drink. She looks like she’s in school uniform swith awhite shirt and a black skirt. She is in her mid twenties. Frances has been vaguesly watcing the fitgures of the snooker players who started about fifteen minutes ago. did o is on the soundsystem. Frances thinks she’s a cow. Frances thinks some of the tunes re food but they broke ehr heart. Frances has her plate cleared away by the friendly bar man wo commented on the weather. Frances said that he would like to be in the hot weather althuoght hey arree dthe cooling system was good. He said he liked the fan on him. The man with the greyshirt has gone , he was sitting opposite someone so they have gboth goone. they went ages ago about the time when the ndw nooker players tuned up. There is a man sitting at the greysirt man’s talbe and his is lookingin Frances direction with hi s arms crossed. Frances can see the snooker player is wearing a slieeveless yellow t shirt like Freddie Mercury. Frances htinks about this morning in the newsagents. The man behind frances in the queue said than you Sir, nadn the sir referes to a magic spell Frances has broken since last night. Frances has managed to do sthe thing with Sir in it. someone has written the nameof a dictator on the table in front of Frances, its the name of the old iraqui leader that Frances isn’t going to write down. Its next door to the Heinz ketchup. Frances remembers the time when she thought the mark of a good establishment was to have ketchup. Theschool girl is getting up to leave with her file andher two bags and flat shoes. She goes down the steps from the stage. Frances spills some of her beer again. She didn’t mean to jer k it. Frances rubs the guinness off her keyboard with sher skirtand concntrates on trying not to burp. there is cricketon the tv screen. Frances cant’ have any more guinness because of this.

Frances leavees the pub to a beautiful girl song. Someone does a chesty cough. Frances wanders into the newsagents to buy some cigarettes and when she gets to number four the door is ajar. Frances decides to awalk down the road to let the viewing take place without her. She turns doround when she gets to the crossing, without dcrossing over. Frances makes her way back but when she gets to the Chinese she seses the viewer with the estate agent outsider her door so she stops and looks at the menu in the wall window. frances sees there is japanese food, with words like teriyaki. Frances sees chidken and beef and whaonders what is vegetearian. Frances looks at the menu for quite a wuhile because the wtwo men are talking. Eventually frances sees them part and she makes her way bacck to the flat. FShe dsees David coming towards her andd he has sunglasses on. he says sorry for the pull out of the other buyer but frances says that’s alright or something. Frances hears the man’s brother wants to see the flat next weekend, David says sorry for it not being sooner. frances says its alright and says goodbye to david. He asked her when she was moring and she told him she was going to Scotland. Frances gets back to the flat and manages to wait until two thirty. Frances goes to the loo at the proper time.

Frances talked to the franc h teacher about Redding. They discussed what celebrities lived in Redding and frances said the Gallaghers recorded there or something. Frances said Redding bouldn’t be too bad lathough it wasn’t as good as Surrey. Frances heard that the area between Reading and Sluough has Ascot in it. Frances knows this.

Frances thinks about a clown, Frances was a clown with zippo’s circus. frances stood on the sawdust and she wet her patns. Frances wore some ski boots. fances did a lot of crying and a bit of laughingg. Frances hoped the children wold help her see what she was doing. frances rolled around on the sw dust and tried to get up. Frances wore a big wig and she felt very hot.

When Frances finished talking to david she got back to the flat. she sat on the sofa and looked down aat her front. frances has a pin scratche from a pin that she left in her dress that she’d sewn. Frances swonders if Daivd swaw the scratch. frances loks down at her skirt wistband, she can see shere whe’ s sewsn along the band. She’s used grey thread although it is quite tidy. Frances is wearing her burberry skiert agaain. Frances ripped out the lining a couple of years ago although the skirt is now motheaten. There rae holes that could mean that Frances is flashing. Frances is wearing her pink ballerina top from Hobbs at the moment. Its a crossover top with white lines on it. frances gets a phonecall.

Its a woman from barclaycard , although she was the passed on from the initial man who rang frances with the accident insurance policy. Frances has to pay £5.95 per month to secure a £200K policy in the event of death or oinjury in a traffic accident. Frances was on the web earlier today trying to load her peronal details onto the Saatcchi website. frances could describe herself and her hobbies and dislikes to other people on the internet who lieked art. Frances thinks about the glove and wonders why she keeps getting emails from them even thought he has unsubscribed and done the block sender. Frances thinks of the man who is beautiful in Hammersmith who goe s round helping people. He is like a guide dog. frances didn’t have her hopes raised by david who is goingg to bring the man back for a sethird viewing with his brother next weekend. Frances thinks about getting her ring resized to fit eher pinkie finger.

Frances wonders if she can drum up the rage she felt in the past, Frances feels she ought not to.

frances has a rest for half an hour

Frances gets up and puts the pin from the dress back in the dsewing box. Frances lights another cigarette, she almost upset the sofa just themn. Frncees ut the needle back in the pin cushion.

Frances thinks about parthenogenesis. Tom Conti was atalkinga bout it on the television show. Frances is listening to Terri hatchett on the radio. frances is reminded that Terri used to be with super man when she was Lewis Lane. Seh can’t find a boyfriend but she sin’t’ looking. frances hears that she’d like to date George Clooney even theough she doesn’t say so. Frances thinks about her inerhnails. Terri went on a date far out of town and she didn’t feels he was bieng followed even thugh she was. She’ talkingabout the struggel between the romance struggle between her and superman. Takes all the intense feeling of surbubuia and he heightens them, she’s talking about the writer Frances thinks. She sid the show was the greatesst group of people. What would she do in paralle. She says she’s a big multi tasker, ahe is writing a book and doing a couple of movies. Fantasy of living on a lake, eating mbon bons and being fat. Terri’s book costs 14.99, its a lifestyle book and get to know Terri Hatcher book. Frances turns off the volume for the official football anthem. She doesn’t like embrace at all. Frances looks at England’s glory, the box of matches next to her. She’s finished al lt he cigarettes. Frances threw away her gold star that she got when she bought the eraffle ticket. It spent last night being stuck on her moisutureiser pot, but she peeled it off this morning.

Frances waits for the time to pass before she turns up the volume again. Frances thinks about the cricket competition ofn soport relief. Frances is still amazed at how she got the roses form th underground station in Hammersmith. Frances liked being on the beach bvery breifly. the pasadenas are playing doing fine baby without you girl. Frances hasd an eclipse when seh was running to shepher’s bush. She turned round to get her hairband. Frances call the eclipse the point in time when whe is neither here no r there. This is a form of trnansport, frances spends some seconds somewhere sor somethere. Frances has a wonderful skill. Frances asked the ginger man what his skill was yesterday.

There are drout orders on the news. Herceptin is being discussed on the news. Tehre’s a big ceremony for the opening of the world cup. France derives 80% of its electricity from nuclear power. Frances wants to send her letter to the GP about whether she is a donor, but she wants to see her GP in Scotland before she is committed to going back to Hammersmith surgery. Frances doesn’t want to tgo to Hammersmith surger.

Townsend is playing onthe radioa. at the moment. frnances jraises her ahdns above the ketyboard. frances wants to phone in but she doubt s she will. Fraces is looking at the tlephone. Frances is watching the England Germany game on the television and listening to the radio in her earpones. Frances is drinking a mixture of elderflower cordial and ginger and lemongrass out of the cordial bottle whith whas down to ies last. 0500288291

Saturday 10th June

Frances is worried about the memory hole of her computer . She had six gig two weeks ago so where has all the space gone? Frances has only typed this document up, and there isn’t much to it. she hasn’t downloaded lots of programs. She seems to incur penalites because of the way that she bck s up, she doesn’t know why restoring the file takes up so much memory.

Frances has just bee nn to the park with Catharine. They had ice creams from the t shop . Frances bought Catheraine’s ice cream because she forgot her porte monnai.e Frances adn Catherine stopped by a bench to eat them. There was a dog called Lottie who wouldn’t go with two girls she was with. Her, e lottie sounded like here nottie, and frances and catherine thought it sounded like naughty. The sun rained diamonds on the river’s water, Frances sat down on their third bench and looked across the water. Tehy discussed the River Cafe and Frances said she should book well in advance. Frances heard that Catharin’e’s boyfriend has already got his season ticket to the football. Frances said she hadn’t been before but Frances thinks she probably has, she’s referring to Cravens’ cottage. Frances once walked past Craven’s cottage when there was filming going on but she didn’t volunteer to be an extra. Frances complained a lot about her naighbours because she saidshe had the keys to all the flats. Frances made out that the neighbours were squatters but she was just explaining why she didn’t want to sell the flat to the neighbours. Frances mentioned the Calton Arms to CKatharine when they got to the flat’s door and a man outside the newsagents did a huge cough. Frances still isn’t sure what happened there. Frances spoke a bit of Fraench on the walk, she wa s showing off her Franech accent. Frances listened to Kataharine who noted everyone who went by with a Fraench accent. Frances told Katharine to Speak Fraench very well, not very well speak French. Frances was becomigng a tutor. Frances didn’t teach Katharine after that because she laboured the point. Frances and Ktathainre were on the bench when the little girl wrode her bicycle all on her own. She was absolutely tiny. She managed to cycle without stabilisers, and ehr da d was encouraging her. Frances and katharine looked a th te little girl when she reached them which made ehr lose her concentration. Frances got quite hot on the walk, but she took off her flip flops for a long while. Frances got out the ladder when she got back to the flat and they went up on to the roof. They could see for miles. Frances expalained about the building work and how the roof had been mended. Frances told Katharine of the time she went to ad rinks party on Thursday, how she’d just invited herself. Frances invited herself onto katharin’es roof and asked if she could borrow the roof when katharine went to Cuba. FKatharine is going to cuba on Thursday and her cousin is coming to stay on Wednesday or Thurdsadya. Frances will get the keys when Katharine ‘s cousin leaves. Frances is going to give kataharine the number of the NHS doctors, so Katharine can register for healthcare. She got a tick when she went to Sweden or somewhere. Frances doesn’t do much exercise but Katharine is a member of Holmes place. THer gymn is just next tdoor to her work’s offices. Frances told Katahrine who w she was a member o f the healthclub on the river but that she was too tired to exercise when she got there. The fitness trainer on Trhusday advised Frances to awalk aevery day. Frances was glad to be kwit h Katharine , she hansn’t gone on river walks for some time. Frances used to go round the footpath, the same route as Katharine now runs. Katharine runs at weekensds. Frances looks at her arms and she has caught the sun on her left arm. Frances doesn’t have any suncream to put on. Frances warned katharine quite sharply to not look up her dress when she went up the ladder. Frances had to apologise later. Frances didn’t say she didn’t have any knickers on but she left it at that. Katharin’e’s boyfriend is ogoing to bring some talbels nad chairs that she could put on the roof. Frances is looking forward to going there. Frances told Katharine about the bridge that is going to bue built across the river at Canning town. They were going apast the architecture office by the Riverside Cafre. Frances hasd to put sher shoes on along the river front because it was too hot for her feet. Frances showed Katharine the tea house. She had never been there. Frances is thinking about A Perfect Storm with George Clooney in. frances told Katharine about what television to watch, she told her about Jonathan ross’s chat show and Cornonation street and House, the American progam. Frances told Katharine about Jools holland whois late on Fridays but Katharine is in becd by that tiem. Frances told katharine about cooking celery and leaving it to stand, and abuut lentils with Spinach. Katharein e recommended the Thai spinach from the philipinno shop. frances recommended the gooey cake and they both wondered how to eat one thousand year old eggs. Frances sprayed on a fvery fine film of fake tan before she went on the walk. Katharine had Gucici glasses in her bag. Katharine hasd a large water bottle that she didn’t share. Frances was glad that she didn’t got o the loo. Katharine ‘s glasses were darker than Frances, Frances’ glasses were tortoiseshell. Katharine’s boyfriend is called Daniel. Balthasar. Frances said wit was a n epic name. they were on the bench at that point. Frances was with Katharine when she looked into everybody’s garden. She was looking for wsomewhere else to rent in the area. Frances said the gardens were toon near the river path and that everyone would look in and Katharine agreed. Katharine said perfect when frances put the latdeer away. frances disassembled the ladder because Katharine coudln’t. Frances said Katharine didn’t need to take anything to Cuba,she could just go in what she was wearing. Katharine is going to hire a car in Cuba and stay at bed and breakfasts. Katharine has got a younger sister who has got a baby and is building a house on a cliff face or steep slope. frances thought about the house befirst because she heard about the house first. Katharin’es boss likes going on the underground. He uses words like ‘chewy’ and ‘racey’. Katharine says he is quite nice but she doesn’t like going on the underground. At twenty parst five Katharine asked Frances whenthe dry cleaner’s shut. They were on the roof. Frances said she should take her things there bedore it closed at half past. it may have closed at six but Francesdidn’t check tao aslk later. Katharine ltet Frances shut the hatch but Frances sdidn’t bput the ladder back and she went to her flat for a cigarette. Katharine came back from the dry clearners and had to ask ‘frances’ nin the air for Frances to answer ther door. That was before Frances then went to help Katharine take the lader down, after Frances had gone back into her flat. Katharine tried to unmantle the ladder first before asking Fror Frances help. Frances sat at her table reading the Guardina’s back page bin between. Katharine and Frances talked about when the cousin whoudl be there because of the keys. THer cousin is coming maybe on Wednesday, katharine isn’t sure. Frances is now typing up what happened, she could have a shoer. Frances might foreget what happened on the walk if she hss a shower now. Frances has sweat to wash off.

Frances made footbprints on her white floor baoards when she came down from the roof. Frances has just rinsed her feet clean by standing on them in the shower. Frances almost left her flip flops on the bench when she sat down to eat her choc ice, she had torun back to get them. Frances agreed there was a lot of pollen on the cycle path on their way there. Frances didn’t go as far as the seating are on Putney bridge, she was asked if she wanted to go there. Frances said let’s go back a t the point they stopped to eat their ice creams. frances ate her ice cream quicker than Katharine whio licked the top so it was small and rounded. Kathareine had a classic Cornetto. Frances is quite hungrynow. Frances told Katharine she ate fish anc chips, whe’s already said that. katharine didn’t say what she eats because fRances didn’t ask ther that. Katharine doesn’t have enough time to cook lentils. Frances told Katharine to say vegetables because Katharine says tables. Frances told Katharine that she thought the Franche accent was cute and that she cshould keep saying vegetables the way she did. Frances implied that Katharine should be confident with the way that she speaks. At one point Frances said Katharine should live in Milan, that was a t the ponint when theye were talking about health. Katharine said she wouldn’t retire in london because of the health system. Katharine had her teeht done in Germany. SShe paid forty five percent for tax, so it should have been worth it. Frances later said she didn’t mean that Katharine should live in Milan, she just bmeant because of the glamoru and the better wather. Katharin e had been talking about her cousin ‘s wedding in somewhere like France or Italy, Frances wasn’t listening. Katharine is due to go to a wedding In the north of Italy. frances asked if it was near geroge clooney. Kathairne didn’t know where geoere Clooney lived so Frances said it was on lake como. katharine said the wedding was two hours from Milan but that it wasn’t Lake Como. Frances felt sa bit embarrassed about askinga bout George Clooney. frances watches chat shows. Katharin e complained about al lthe travelling she has to do. Katharine flies with Ryanair. Katharine’s boyfriend is coming from Frankfurt, tit only talkes two minutes to get to the countrysid e because the city sis small. francces hsaid how’s that and had to be told because the city is small. Katharine went to a wedding ain France last weekend and Katharine paid Frances back for the bottle of ginger and lemongrass. Katharine said she went to a Wine museum and looked round wthe windeyards. Frances kept saying how much it swas to have carried her bottles in the luggage. Did she fly? Katharine said that sihe did. Katharine stold the wine grower that she wanted a winde fror an Englishmwoman. the man picked the bottle that FrKatharine garve to Frances and said it was what the English womaen were dirnking. Frances thinks about watching doctor who. she is bored of describingg this. Frances and Kataharine dasat in front of a sculpture on their way there. Frances told Kathrine she had legs like builders, she meant the haris and trailed off at the point where whe was going to desccribe the wax. Katharine got her flips flops from Vietname, she told Frances this much later on. Frances took her flip flops off on the corner fof Craven’s cottage, the stones were cooler. On the way back there was a girl who pinged her bicycle bell just as Frances was saying th word excellent. Katharine said she didn’t like the houses on the river front and frances agreed and said they were better form the inside. Frances said the tinted windwos were practical but they both didn’t like the houses. Frances pointed out the old foldks home, but Katharine had already seen the chairs. Frances thought the sitting room was too much on the pathway for the old people to enjoy rivacy. Katharine like d the look of the garden.

Frances is durrently making rice with a telma stock ccube in it. frances is quite hungry. frances has just fished out fwome hair from her wax pot, she did three patches on her legs, three strips. Frances examined the ewax at the back to see if the roots had come out. Frances loves doing this. Frances

Katharine said she had terrible neighbours in Germany. She sid when she threw a letter out she . She said when she threw her printer out in the main dustbin area there wasn’t enough rroom for it to o with the bins so she put it to the side. She said that she had removed the inkjets before hand. She said that she got a letter saying she had to dispose of her printer in a special area, ashe said the letter said her printer was a computer. She said that the letter came from the council, making a complaint by one of the residents, it didn’t say what neighbour had made the complaint. Before that, Katharine said that once she went to bhe Ikdea with her boyfirend and they had put them up at the weekend. She said that her boyfirend had used the drill to put the drill etogether to bput the bookcase together and that it had taken ten minutes. Katharine got a letter saying that it was alright if. Frances is watching big brother,she isn’t concentrating. frances got a letter asaying that it was,. Katharine got a letter telling her and her boyfriend for using a drill on a Sunday because it was God’s day of rest. She got a letter from aa central organisation, not from the neighbour directly. Katharine isn’t sure who sent the leetter. Frances said she was thirty and Katharine said she was twenty nine. Katharine got it out of Frances that she was thrity one after Frances had told her her birthday. Katharine’s birthday is at the end of July. Katharin’e’s boyfirnd’s birthday is on the fourth of april so he is an Aries. Frances is thinking about when she ws on the roof. She pointed at earls court and Frances thinks she did another salute. Frances isn’t sure.

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