Earth Vader

Is a mother of three.

Is good at making quiche and marmalade.

Gets vulnerable on the point of feeling hunger and not having enough jolly messages on her answerphone.

Is a flower arranger.

Is thinking about retiring the costume but is puzzled by who should take the legacy.

Has offered her daughter a shot.

Is a national treasure.

Applicants could apply to Rannoch Road.

Is a woman at the front and a man at the back.

Is best consoled with a strong cup of tea in a half sized cup.

Can’t bear getting her hair wet swimming.

Likes to be brought breakfast in bed.

Goes to bed early after a long day with cornflakes.

Is very partial to croissants, almond if possible.

Has to have elevensies.

Enjoys going to the Royal Academy.

Can be known to cry in bed for three days with a headache.

Likes a really good who dunnit.

Watches NCIS after lunch with a sit down.

Likes weekends away, Cornwall especially.

Doesn’t like air pollution as it affects her breathing.

Likes Star Trek, crime fraiche and clotted cream.

Loves a treat.

Goes to the theatre.

Has a bent pinkie.

Has mostly recovered from varicose veins.

Has to put her feet up.

Loves to enthuse and enthuse people.

Loves the young.

Is a fan of Neighbours.

Has fitted sheets from Peter Jones.

Likes getting back to normal.

Likes being told if she is being overbearing.

Often says shphew.

Does tapestry because her grandmother did.

Offers to do her daughters laundry.

Loves wrapping up with tissue paper with a layer of cellophane on top.

Needs help in finding the end of the sellotape.

Isn’t confident about how her face looks.

Doesn’t like to show her knees.

Loves creative people.

Has a Belling.

Visits the elderly.

Usually has lilies.

Grew up in Nightsbridge.

Likes to be elastic.

Likes to leave things open for a change of mind.

Is easy come easy go.

Makes chocolate cake less often in preference of an almond version without flour.

Likes to dovetail.

Says one mustn’t worry.

Doesn’t like getting caught in traffic.

Doesn’t like things that are such a bore.

Is hard to mapread for.

Doesn’t like missing a turning.

Collects moss and shells.

Goes to the early market.

Goes back to bed after an early start.

Has a hottie.

Loves being the Easter Bunny.

Usually apologises for burping.

Doesn’t enjoy unloading the car.

Often does things for other people.

Writes many post and birthday cards.

Writes with a mixture of capitals and smalls.

Cannot do arithmetic.

Has huge pillows for sitting up in bed.

Loves the daily mail but has recently been encouraged to choose less stressful headlines.

Goes to a hairdresser at the traffic lights.

Cleans and hoovers frequently.

Doesn’t like leaving things out.

Covers piles with tartan rugs.

Cannot bear having her car covered in bird poo and will quickly wash it off.

Has a lot of glass vases on high shelves.

Doesn’t enjoy being too hot or too cold.

Doesn’t understand contact lenses.

Loves to feed people.

Usually writes thank you letters.

Manages half a glass of wine.

Prefers Prices candles.

Wants to see The Girl On The Train.

Is quite a good godmother.

Has roast chicken once a week.

Flares up when people are standing in the way.

Is often effusive with compliments.

Doesn’t like the number three.

Is quite good at making garlands.

Likes to be helped with lifting.

Encourages people to float about.

Is an apprentice matchmaker.

Has porridge with a banana and sometimes brown sugar.

Has only played the lottery twice.

Loves Handels Water Music and faures requiem.

Can find Wagner too strong.

Cannot sing but has been encouraged to have lessons.

Believes in doing the course and getting the certificate.

Asks friends to bring a friend when they come to dinner.

Believes in showing gratitude, to an unwittingly painful degree.

Asks people to tell her not to shout.

Doesn’t like things being too loud.

Doesn’t like repeating herself.

Doesn’t like attracting moths indoors.

Sees Parma ham as a treat.

Loves spoiling and being spoiled.

Listens to Leonard Cohen.

Asks to be checked on being greedy, and a bit naughty.

Takes the number 74.

Finds it hard to fit all the lids on the jam jars.

Doesn’t like to have to get cross.

Can feel simply peculiar.

Thinks teeth and the bite are frightfully important.

Eats medium medium rare steak.

Doesn’t mind other people smoking but not in the house.

Was nearly framed by her Major husband who she then divorced.

Sees her brothers up to once a year.

Likes to be told when to expect people.

Is a member of neighbourhood watch.

Says blast and bother.

Fears pillow fights.

Loves Lilly of the valley.

Likes to arrive in plenty of time.

Isn’t very good at computing and likes to be shown.

Isn’t overtly fond of the royals but gets emotional about Ascot.

Sees herself as a nun.

Ends her daughters boyfriends without meaning to.

Likes to marry things up.

Cannot bear wasps and spiders.

Is a great believer that everything will be okay.

Asks if anyone is too hot or too cold.

Likes permission in making plans.

Offers people choice and the chance to change their minds.

Thinks of Myra as special.

Likes ice creams and Cornish pasties.

Loves Patisserie Valerie.

Makes crispy towels.

Hates running out of milk.

Believes in never taking any notice.

Points things out to travelling companions, often through a window.

Tends to have a tissue.

Likes keeping busy.

Shape changes in the hall or on the landing.

Goes to church with a boiled sweet.

Tries to keep a tin in the car.

Says allow me.

Loves an outing.

Loves Scottish dancing with the right people.

Loves christenings.

Has ice cream in the interval.

Isn’t confident about being photogenic.

Does buttercups under chins.

Has a very full shed.

Points out the flower outside behind the person, often after eating.

Has a very small, very crammed telephone address book.

Often mends with a thread and needle.

Has a dimmer switch.

Doesn’t like things too bright.

Plays chess.

Can get nervous about the next day.

Hopes to chat on the bus.

Likes to fit in a gallery.

Says I need you and I lav you.

Despairs of splinters and thorns.

Begins with not wanting to make a fuss.

Is located at the black hole of Calcutta.

Can switch in a matter of seconds and snap back.

Uses android.

Has a Banham and mi5 has a spare.

Uses the word stunning.

Refreshes the car with a blow.

Grows rosemary.

Keeps ant spray for a colony.

Has a pulley.

Uses Pyrex and cones not scales.

Once worked in the Houses of Parliament.

Is allergic to tobacco.

Believes in feeding people.

Is a member of the national trust.

Chats people up.

Is directly linked to firemen and other emergency services.

Says may I. 

Invites lodgers to stay.

Looks after people.

Does her best to remove the bones.

Labels marmalade with a ship and a year.

Doesn’t drink coffee.

Asks is we are all happy.

Works with volunteers and often pays them.

Is a fan of dry cleaning.

Takes the underground.

Likes tosca.

Likes a hot bath.

Has a varied collection of overcoats on hooks by the door.

Asks for help to find things.

Likes bitter lemon and ginger ale.

Likes approval for dress sense.

Hands over the TV Times.

Cleans her mothers barge windows.

Drives with diesel.

Has French windows.

Has decking.

Sex slaves don’t notice.

Gives presents.

Likes to visit babies. 

Uses loppers and tarpaulin.

Offers the condition of being free and easy.

Likes to pack the car herself.

Doesn’t like putting the bins out.

Says do what you feel like.

Mustn’t get upset. 

Believes in the moment.

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